Welcome to the inside of my head.

9. 50 shades

First day back at uni for the spring term. I think I was actually excited about returning. I mean I woke up voluntarily at 7 *appalled face*– must have really missed my friends.

Most of my thoughts right now are about how to minimise how badly I will flop tomorrow’s assessment centre (see earlier post- I settled on a skirt btw). I feel like I have a hundred reminders in my head of what not to do but hardly anything about what I should do. Don’t talk to much. Don’t talk too little. Don’t giggle hysterically. Don’t be too serious. You get the jist. I think it’s driving me crazy. Instead I’m going to talk about something NOT internship related.

I was on the train on the way to uni today at about 9 in the morning and I saw a lady reading 50 shades of grey. There are several things wrong with this observation. 50 shades should not be read in paperback. It should always be read in e-book form so that people don’t know that you are reading it. You should always looks embarrassed/ borderline mortified when reading such drivel- she’s wasn’t. In fact I think she was smiling. Lastly but not least, IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN THE DAY TO BE READING SUCH STUFF. Save it for the night time. The weird thing is, this isn’t even the worst thing I’ve seen involving 50 shades. I saw a guy reading it once and he looked like he was enjoying it…

For those of you living under a rock, 50 shades is about an ‘innocent’ girl called Anastasia being captivated by sex god supreme Mr Christian Grey who is filthy rich and supposedly has a face and body to rival Adonis himself. Unfortunately he harbours some strange ‘desires’. Basically there’s lots of naughty business everywhere, anywhere, all the time. Both of them must have quite a libido. There’s a vague storyline chucked in for lols too.

Now I watched Pride and Prejudice for about the 5th time last weekend and seriously 50 shades has nothing, absolutely nothing, on a classic like Pride and Prejudice. Women should be reading Jane Austen and swooning over Mr Darcy, not Christian controlled-by-his-penis Grey. Mr Darcy has honour and grace whereas Christian is all style, no substance. Similarly whilst Anastasia is far better than constant whinger Bella Swan, Elizabeth Bennet wins hands down. She is outspoken, headstrong and probably has more balls than Christian Grey.

Let’s compare.

Declaration of love:

P & P: “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
50: “I’d like to bite your lip.”

Happiness:

P & P: “I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
50: “My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.”

Other:

P & P: “We are all fools in love”
50: “Who’s he kidding? He’s no gentleman. He has my panties”

#End rant.

With all this said, I have read the 50 shades trilogy and there is something about it that makes you want to keep reading. *grumble grumble* Pride and Prejudice is still better though and should receive more attention!

Edit: Clearly The Daily Mail read my blog because they responded with this article 2 days later!

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