Welcome to the inside of my head.

53. So It Ends

Today was the last day of lectures for this year. For some of my friends, it’s their last lecture at Imperial which is totally surreal for me. I cannot imagine being done with my degree right now. The reason I’m staying on for a fourth year is less about wanting to do more Mathematics and more about how unbearable the idea of leaving Imperial and facing the big scary world is.  Even though it’s a year away, finishing my education and starting work makes me feel a bit ill. I’ve been spoilt in the sense that I’m used to seeing my friends everyday and I need that. It keeps me functioning.

The thing is some of my friends are going to leave this year and these are people who’ve been an integral part of my university life. Some of them are graduating and one of them is heading off to Cambridge (such a brainbox- so proud!). I’m so happy for them and they’re all doing what’s right for them… but I’ll miss them and that makes me sad. I hate things changing and I hate saying goodbye. There is nothing good about goodbyes. They should be called badbyes or awfulbyes or ihatehowthisfeelsbyes. I can already hear some of you saying ‘it’s not goodbye’. Okay fine I’ll probably see them at their weddings (or hopefully before) but I am very conscious of the fact that without the talk about lectures, coursework, university and where to go for lunch, what will there be to say? It scares that hell out of me.

Argh, I ought to cheer up. Today I finally handed in my bastard Statistics coursework and had my last M3T visit. For those of you who don’t know, M3T refers to visiting a secondary school on Fridays  to teach and examine how Mathematics is communicated. It’s forms a small part of my degree. But anyway, today was the last visit and I was kinda relieved. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. In the last 11 weeks, I’ve seen a kid puke up. I’ve heard a lot of colourful language. I’ve seen hissy fits, crimes against Mathematics, crying teachers…I could go on. There have been many moments of frustration and it’s been a lot more work than I anticipated but I’m really glad I did it. I have even greater respect for teachers and I enjoyed interacting with the kids and showing off my maths skills (by this I mean knowing my timetables and being fast at mental arithmetic- kids are so easily impressed).


James handing in the last coursework of the year!

Also there was an incident today. I made the mistake of boarding the bus that had the local drunk guy on it. I’ve seen him around often. One time he unfortunately sat next to me and I was overwhelmed by the stench of piss, alcohol and vomit that came from him. I practically held my breath the whole way. Today however, he was next level drunk. He was sitting at the back alternating between yelling at everyone and muttering completely incoherently. He was literally pointing at people and shouting FUDGE YOU! and FUDGE YOU TOO MOTHERFUDGER! It would have been funny had it not been for the fact I was genuinely frightened that he might punch someone in the face, so much so that I got off the bus and waited 10 minutes for the next one.

Last but not least, I took this picture the other day and I’m not photographer but I liked it so I thought I’d share.


Natural History Museum

Over and Out!


Comments on: "53. So It Ends" (9)

  1. Chungting said:

    ah duddddddde don’t make me sad now 😦

  2. Hey. I read quite a few of your posts before this. I like it. I’m going to promptly go and click that tiny little button that says “Follow”.

    Now, don’t ask me why I chose to mention this on THIS particular post (there aint no reason, trust me) but your posts would look a little more linear if ya, you know, align it. I think it’s called “justified” where all your lines end in a straight line and all.

    No offense meant, ma’am!

    PS: You from Pakistani. Me from India. Sub-continent YAYYY 😀

    • Hello my fellow Indian! Sorry for the late reply- I’ve had a rather busy week. Thanks for checking out my blog, glad you liked it 🙂

      I understand what you mean about the text…however I don’t appear to have an option to ‘justify’ it otherwise I would of course use it…unless I’m being blind?

      • You write pretty much at ease. I need to stop flexing my muscle and stop being tensed when I’m writing. I’m in the process of reading more of what you wrote.

        And about the justify thingy? I’m sorry for rebutting to it but now that you said about not seeing it I was reminded about how I myself couldn’t see it. The issue is that Justify isn’t placed next to the center, left and right tabs.

        It’s placed below it.

      • Ahhh I finally found the justify button! I had to open the ‘kitchen sink’ before I found the option so I’m not completely blind!

        Writing at ease…yes I guess I do. Most of the time I write for myself and I have no expectations except basic grammar requirements though sometimes I’m even slack with them. Write about things that inspire you or subjects that you’re confident sharing your opinion about.

        But I just checked out your blog and I don’t think you need any tips from me! You have over 300 followers and you’ve been blogging for a long time! 🙂

      • Yeah I’ve been blogging for some time now. Although I love writing and everything to do with it I haven’t figured out to be at ease with grammar! There was a point of time when I thought that grammar isn’t all that important.

        But, as and when I walked further I realised that it was important. I’m trying my best. Lets see.

        And, there is an internal conflict. To write what I like or to write what the reader likes?

        PS: I need tips all the time :-p

      • To write what I like or to write what the reader likes? That’s a difficult question. I guess we need to strike a balance. However I try to write for the reader first in order to encourage them to read other posts I wrote for myself. 🙂

      • Fair enough! First trap ’em then bombard ’em 😀

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