Welcome to the inside of my head.

71. Make it stop.

Every year, I reach a point during revision where I decide I don’t care. Today is that day.

I am so tired of this. I don’t want to revise. I don’t want to do these exams. I’ve been doing everything to avoid it. I’ll eat, catch up on House, decide to start doing sit ups because sure right now is a great time to start an exercise regime, right? But then I suffer this gut wrenching guilt for not spending my time wisely. All this proves is that I do care. But I wish I didn’t.

I could loosen up and settle for a 2:1. That’s good right? I can get a job with that. Can I live with it though? Is it good enough for my parents? As much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I know the answer deep down is ‘no’ but if I don’t sort this out, that is where I’m heading.

Why have I decided to stay on for another year? Surely I don’t love Imperial so much that I’m willing do this all over again. This is sucking my soul. Please let this be over soon. I don’t want to do this anymore.

*gets up*

*heads back to notes*



Comments on: "71. Make it stop." (7)

  1. Flora Pan said:

    I know how you feel 😦 I just want to be home now and out of here..but I still have four exams coming for me and I’m just not ready to do any of it. Sigh

    • I have to keep a countdown and focus on all the good things I’m going to do during Summer to get through this.

      Good luck Flora!

      • Flora Pan said:

        Good luck to you too! I think I’ve been making a list all year :s Almost at the finish line 🙂

  2. Aaaah, we all know that feeling. And suddenly, there’s so many ‘important’ things that need doing, right? Yesterday I suddenly decided the kitchen needed cleaning! Stick with it, good luck!! 🙂

    • That’s another thing I can do- clean the kitchen! 😛
      I kid.

      I did that earlier.
      (I kid.)

      Thank you 😀 Good luck with your revision too!

  3. Today I got distracted by a moth… anything to stop revising! Keep strong though, when you get your First you know it will be worth it 🙂

  4. Any but revision sounds like a good thing to do… My down fall is YouTube… One after the other! Good luck with your revision! 🙂

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