This person doesn’t read books, they devour them! Hunger Games trilogy- yeah read it in 3 days. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- read it one day. They are hellbent on finishing their book as soon as possible…
Goes to the bathroom, takes book with them. Sitting at the dinner table, takes book with them. Meeting friends? Not anymore! Cancels and reads book instead.
For that day, they are completely and utterly immersed into another world.
The Slow Coach
This person is still reading the same book 6 months on, reading approximately 5 pages a day and justifying it with ‘oh the plot is super complex and there are lots of characters’. Seriously I could hand write the book in that time…
The Organised One
This reader sets a guideline ie. they decide to read between 30-50 pages each days and actually stick to it! They pace themselves and take time to savour the details.
They guys are always reading on the bus/train making sure all the other passengers can see how well they are using their time and looking down upon the peasants reading the Metro. That is of course unless they’re reading 50 Shades of Grey in which case they’ll replace the book cover or hide behind their Kindle. You need not have bothered- your dilated eyes and panting give you away…
The Literature Hipster
Not content with what the ‘average’ folk read, they insist on reading things like the Iliad or something in Latin. More importantly they must inform everyone what they’re reading and occasionally quote it to really dig it in. You think you’re well read- I get it. Now shut up and let me read Twilight in peace.
The ‘oh whoops spoiled it’
This happens for books that are part of a series. This person reads the first one, is desperate to know what happens next, wiki’s it (or watches the TV series) and then decides that they don’t need to read the rest of the books because they now know how it ends. Well done.
The Later Later
Gets the book, leaves on desk for 3 months, renews it 10 times and eventually returns the book having never opened it.
Reading the spark notes version does not count as having read the book no matter how well you know the ‘themes’ and ‘symbolism’. Cheater!
What’s a book? These idiots can’t read nothing unless it’s in chat-speak or all gangster like. Yeh sik blad. Safe safe.
Let me know when you get a job.
Over and Out!