I wouldn’t call myself shy but I’m just as anxious as anyone else about how to act at important social occasions. I hate bring stuck in a room with unfamiliar people who I’m supposed to impress and charm with my wit and humour. But sometimes it’s just necessary. I’ve come up with a few tips that’ll give you a confidence boost and they’re not wishy washy stuff like ‘be yourself’ because my god if we did that, they’d probably run for the hills.
1. Dress the part
You need to shed the clothes you usually wear- they’re too associated with your usual socially awkward self. Wear something new, something different, something flattering that’ll make you feel good about yourself. Ladies, put on your favourite underwear. No-one else will see it (or maybe they will, who knows what kind of occasion this is) but you’ll know in your head that you look hella fine and it’ll shine through in your body language. Guys, wear something tailored.
2. Find your inner gangster
Love them or hate them, gangsters are confident to the point of being obnoxious. The point is if you can find your inner gangster, you can tap into that confidence store. For me, the best way to do this is through music. Find a song that makes you feel like a #BOSS and perform it. If you can’t sing, mime. Give your mirror the best performance of its life. Be careful though- you don’t want to start putting up your middle finger and yelling YOLO if you’re attending a formal do. Let’s leave that shit to Drake.
Song Suggestions: I’m On One- DJ Khaled, Do it like a dude- Jessie J, Pour it Up- Rihanna but anything about sex, money and general bragging works here.
3. Practice rapping
My last tip was to help your mental confidence and body language but this one will help with your speech. There’s nothing worse than getting nervous and stuttering or fumbling over your words but you’ll do this a lot less if you can rap (or at least try to!). If you can nail Busta Rhymes’ verse from ‘Look at me Now’ (if you haven’t heard it- it’s ridiculously fast), then you deserve a recording contract and you’ll have no problem getting the words out in a conversation.
Song Suggestions: Just lose it- Eminem, Move that body- Nelly, Look at me now- Chris Brown but anything fast paced is good.
4. Read and form opinions
Watch the news. Read magazines. Just be up to date about what’s going on in the world. That way if the conversation dries up, you have some back up topics. Basically if you’re speaking about something sensible you’ll instantly look more confident (as long as you don’t go all verbal diarrhoea). I find that sport, popular TV shows and gossip are good hooks.
5. Be Optimistic
Not only do pessimistic people annoy me but usually their lack of faith in things is a reflection of their lack of faith in themselves. That’s not attractive. You want to appear positive and you can do this by implementing small changes in your body language. Look people in the eye. Keep your back straight and your head held high. Don’t fold your arms. Find the humour in things and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself but most importantly; smile (or at least don’t frown) even if things go wrong.
There you have it. I am by no means an amazingly confident person but I find that these things help me and maybe they’ll help some of you.
Over and Out!