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Archive for the ‘Interesting Articles’ Category

54. Things that annoy me

  1. When one shoe lace is tied tighter than the other.
  2. When the L and R on headphones are not adhered to.
  3. Being touched with moist/sweaty/ hot/wet hands. Actually, just don’t touch me.
  4. When subtitles are behind the actual speech or worse, subtitles are unavailable.
  5. When I’m in a public bathroom and I’m not alone and it’s pin drop silence so I can’t pee peacefully because I’m conscious of how much noise I’m making.
  6. When the home phone, my mobile AND the doorbell all ring at once. Seriously- this happens.
  7. When I need my glasses to you know, find my glasses.
  8. When I accidentally bite my tongue or the inside of my mouth while I’m eating. Such pain.
  9. When people don’t close the door behind them when leaving my room.
  10. TV epidoes that end with a cliffhanger and then announce there’s a season break and it won’t be back for like 3 months.
  11. Eating oranges, mangoes and other such fruit that get all sorts of stuff stuck between your teeth.
  12. Looking in the mirror before going out and thinking I look (extra) sexy only to realise I look like a pregnant elephant in all the photos.
  13. When I really like a song but don’t know who sang it or what it was called, nor did I catch enough lyrics to run a search in Google.
  14. People who don’t write their working out clearly when doing maths questions and those who don’t use the equals sign symbol correctly.
  15. When delivery costs are higher than the price of the item I ordered.
  16. The excessive and completely redundant use of hashtags on Facebook. If I see one more #YOLO or #SWAG, somebody gonna get hurt real bad.
  17. When TFL (Transport for London) tells me a tube line has severe delays so I change my journey only to find out the line was running fine. GET YO SHIT TOGETHER TFL.
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46. Are you guilty of these texting sins?

Texting. I didn’t fully appreciate this art form until I got unlimited texts. I figured that if you had something to text, you might as well call someone up and just tell them. I could not be more wrong! Texting is amazing for passing on jokes, keeping entertained in lectures, communicating things you’re afraid to say and for boring, menial things. If I rang people up asking them where they were for every time I texted them that question, they’d probably change their number.

But like with everything in life, you get all sorts of texters. I am guilty of falling in more than one of the categories below from time to time. I’m sure you guys do too.

Those who reply instantly
It’s like these people are just waiting for your text. I can’t even hit the send button in 2 seconds it took them to type a fully-formed response. Unless it’s a boring text, I need to spend a bit of time thinking of an answer and then reading over it to make sure I don’t sound like an idiot. When people reply instantly, it also puts pressure on you to reply quickly too which normally leads to  some long arse texting marathon.

Those who chat speak too much
These people ought to be charged for abuse against the English language. They butcher every other word claiming that it’s faster. How is ‘iz’ faster to text than ‘is’? It takes me longer to decipher their message than to actually respond.

Those who go crazy with emoticons 
This is a text, not Pictionary. Please express yourself in sentences so that I don’t have to guess what you mean. Some people take it to the other extreme too. They’ll send about 20 smiley faces. I got that you were happy after the first 3.  Similarly for sad faces.

(Photo Credit: http://www.e2save.com)

Those who use the number of x’s at the end of every text to express their feelings
I personally think using x’s is redundant. Used sparingly, it can be cute but if you end every text to every Tom, Dick and Harry with xoxo, it means nothing. I know people who count the number of x’s their boyfriend/girlfriend sent to decipher how they’re feeling. Oh shit she only sent 2 x’s. She must be pissed with me from yesterday. What is this? xoxo-ception?!

The lol-ers
Lol- pretty much the go-to response when someone doesn’t actually give a toss.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow’. ‘lol cool’.
What is amusing about that statement?
If I said I got hit by a car, would you lol then too?

Those who never reply because their phone is always off or they have no credit or battery
The lack of credit is becoming less of an issue with the emergence of Whatsapp but back in the day, it used to be really annoying. Why do you have a phone if you don’t have enough money on it to actually use it for its primary functions ie. to call and text? Similarly for having it switched off. Why have it at all? Might as well drop it into the ocean for all it’s worth.

Those who reply with essays
Some people have real trouble being concise. You might have asked a simple question and this person will reply in paragraphs weighing up pros and cons before coming to a conclusion. Alternatively they’ll just add a lot of redundant, pointless information which you’ll have to sift through before you actually find the answer to the question you asked.

Those who never let the conversation end
This person just has to have the last word even if it’s ‘haha’. Now if you have 2 people like this texting each other, you’re gonna be there a looong time. There’s also the classic trick of including at least one question in your reply which essentially forces the person you’re texting to text back or else they look rude for ignoring you. We’ve all done it. Don’t even deny it.

Those who give you one word answers
These people actually anger me. If I’m texting you, I probably care about your opinion and if you reply saying ‘k’, your opinion is about as useful as a watermelon’s. Talk about killing the conversation.

Those who just don’t reply
If I wanted to be ignored, I’d strike a conversation with a brick wall. To be honest that would less disappointing than talking to these people. At least I don’t have any expectations from a brick wall. The most common excuse for this behaviour is that they were ‘too busy’. Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was too insignificant for you to find time in your important life to reply to a simple text. I noticed you had time to go on facebook and whatsapp though.

41. Second choice, second best

This post might seem a bit erratic in contrast to the tone of my other posts but I’m just feeling pensive today.  Bear with me. I heard about a difficult situation someone was in and it made me wonder how I would feel in their shoes.

To give you some context:

Imagine you applied to a job you really wanted. You thought it was exactly what you needed and you really felt like you had a place there. You go to the interview and perform well. They are impressed by your calibre and like your enthusiasm but unfortunately someone just pipped you and they don’t have enough space for you. Those words sound pretty hollow given the end outcome. But what if they got back to you? What if they said the person that pipped you is out of the picture and well…you’re next in line. Say you knew the other person wasn’t coming back. Would you take the job?

I think most people would- I would anyway- simply because of how much I wanted it initially. I’d take the first rejection on the chin.

But what if this wasn’t for a job? What if this was a relationship and it all revolved around someone you really cared about? Would you make the same decision?

It doesn’t feel straightforward anymore. When it comes to affairs of the heart, pride is a bitter pill to swallow. The rationale of this being everything you wanted plays second fiddle to the disappointment of being second choice, second best.

There’s something attractive about the idea of pushing someone away and hurting them right back, regardless of whether it’s actually what you want to. Some might call it ‘tit for tat’. You could also look at it another way. Technically you’re their ‘first’ second choice. Some might call that the silver lining. Maybe we should make the most of it.

If I’m being brutally honest, I would probably shove them away because I am bitter and stubborn, though I’m sure I would regret it. I like to think I’d eventually make amends though.

The question is…could you settle with being the person that someone settled for? 

38. Are you one of these types of Facebookers?

Scrolling through my Facebook News Feed today, I couldn’t help but realise how much I could categorise the posts. About 80% is the same recycled rubbish every day. Sometimes I wonder why I bother. I guess that potential 20% keeps me coming back. Oh and I need help remembering birthdays.

So without further ado, I give you my types of Facebookers (Note this is entirely based on my own news feed… )

The Gym Rat

This person is always going to the gym and to prove it, they post on Facebook before and after a workout. They then follow this up with things like ‘NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN’, several pics of their ‘ripped’ bodies, their love of protein shakes and how much their muscles ache after their intense exercising.

English: Heeeeeeeeench.

Would you like some chest with those abs? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s Complicated

This person is always going through emotional turmoil. They met someone 2 days ago and now they’re in love. It’s always ‘different’ this time… except it’s not because very soon they’re out of love and posting hate lyrics in their statuses about one another. It’s always in statuses too…never in a private message. They just have to post something really cryptic like ‘I hate you bitch’ for the whole world to see. Talk about airing your dirty laundry.

102.

This is why you should invest in waterproof mascara. (Photo credit: Zoë Campbell)

Vanity Queen

This person is a girl 99% of the time. She will dedicate entire albums to pictures of herself in the bathroom with 360 pictures of herself standing in one position, tilting her face 1 degree at a time. Or she might have slapped on all her makeup and call it her ‘natural’ look. Or she’ll post a picture of herself wearing a skimpy top and caption it with ‘it’s all about my new hair cuttt!’. Sure because everyone’s looking at your hair right?

(Photo Credit: Shutterstock)

The Serial Updater

This person updates their status about a dozen times a day.
I just woke up. I took a shit. I went to school. I just ate. I’m going to bed.

Rinse lather repeat.

The Party Animal

This person is always clubbing or partying, drinking themselves stupid and then posting lots and lots of pictures of their ‘messy’ night. They’ll normally post something like ‘Ayyy Pissheads!’, ‘just chundered everywhere lol’ or my personal favourite ‘I’m never drinking again’.

drunk_guy_at_reading01

(Photo credit: gusset)

The Loved Up Couple

Oh god, these people normally have matching profile pictures and they tag each other in just about every post. They confess their love for one another wherever possible. I’m really pleased for these people- I’m happy they’re happy but surely it’s more romantic and intimate saying these things in person or I dunno, in private? Just a thought.

I'm in Love

(Photo credit: ladytimeless)

Changed my life Bro

This person is always posting motivational speeches and inspiring messages. I was so sad and unsure about my life but now that I’ve read your post, I’m reformed. Wallahi, you changed my life bro.  *facepalm*

(Photo credit: ragetrolling.com)

Footy Mad

This person’s mood is entirely governed by their football team’s performance. I don’t even need to watch the match. I’ve got a running (albeit biased) commentary on my news feed. If their team loses, one of the following comments is always made; the ref was rubbish, we should have been given a penalty, the penalty to the other team shouldn’t have been given, the manager needs firing.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Food Photographers

This person is constantly posting pictures of their food, normally of desserts. I swear it’s like they go out for the sole purpose of taking this picture to post on Facebook. I promise I’ll believe you ate that gorgeous chocolate waffle if you just write about it. Stop making me hungry dammit.

Desserts from JusQytly

(Photo credit: laRuth)

The Procrastinists 

They’re always online, complaining about all the stuff they’ve got to do. If they spent a little less time complaining and a little more time doing, they’d be done ages ago. But where would be the fun in that?

(Photo credit: whypain.org) 

The Activist

This person believes they can singlehandedly change the world through their socio-political commentary on facebook. I mean reading one news article qualifies you as a political expert right?
Have an opinion. I encourage it, but please read around the subject before opening your mouth. You might end up saying something stupid.

The Entrepreneur

This business person is always selling something such as tickets or phones or laptops. The funny thing is hardly anyone responds and if they do, it’s normally to say RIPP OFF. This is Facebook, not Gum Tree. What do you expect? You’re a teenager. Your friends are teenagers. They’ll need to ask Mummy and Daddy before they buy anything you’re selling.

(Photo credit: BBC)

I think that covers most people. No offense was intended. Disclaimer. Disclaimer. Over and Out!

37. My Beef With Fake Nails

Girls, I know you want your hands to look pretty. I can understand that. Feel free to paint them any colour of the rainbow if you wish but what is this obsession of attaching plastic claws to perfectly nice nails?! For one they look really tacky. Shocking pink nails with shiny studs scream CHAV louder than an adidas tracksuit. On top of that, they are actually really impractical. I had fake nails temporarily over the summer as a method to stop biting my nails and I couldn’t hack it. Within 2 days I had ripped them off and vowed never to try them again. (It probably didn’t help that I’m used to having teeny tiny nails.) Some of the problems I had were the following:

1. You can’t bloody text or type. Well I couldn’t anyway. The claws just got in the way. I was having to press down on the keys with the plastic instead of my fingertips. I don’t know how working women manage it. Aliya minus texting and typing makes for a VERY grumpy Aliya (/cat).

2. I couldn’t even eat. I’m brown so I eat roti pretty much everyday and that means eating with your hands. It is unbelieveably difficult with fake nails and even if you manage to get a scrap of roti, dipping your claws into curry is kinda gross and getting them cury stained doesn’t look great either.

3. You don’t realise just how much you touch your face until you get fake nails. Scratching your face feels like having your face sandpapered. Within 2 days, I looked like I had been attacked by a savage animal.

4. It is genuinely a mission to pick things up from a flat surface. Heaven forbid trying to pick up a penny. I would be there for a good 10 seconds moving the item around until I got some sort of grip on it. The aim would be to get the nail UNDER the item and then hold it firmly.

5. Last but not least, they made my hands look weird.

My hands actually looks alien to me. Don't ask what happened to the forefinger because I don't know either...

They actually look alien to me. Don’t ask what happened to the forefinger because I don’t know either…

Moral of the story…don’t do it! Get a manicure or just grow them naturally. Natural and clean looks best!

34. My Valentine’s Confession

I guess you could call him a family friend.

Him and his parents have been coming around my house since I was very young. My dad has always been very close to them but my mum finds his family too loud and ‘unpolished’. She says they give her a headache. What about me you might ask? Me and him, we just click. I can’t explain it. It’s like I don’t even have to speak and he knows exactly how I’m feeling. Whenever I need him, he’s there for me, saying the all words I need to hear.

It’s been so long now that I can’t believe I used to keep him secret. I wasn’t sure what my parents would think of ‘us’. Whenever he came to my room, we had to be really quiet especially when things heated up. Even though I don’t see him very much, we’re always talking online or on the phone. In fact since I met him, he’s always been in my life. I might have liked other guys but he’s always been there in the background. I’m always mentioning him and sometimes the boys I was with didn’t understand and didn’t like him but I could never let him go.

I remember the first time I danced with him. He made me feel so alive and free and just deliriously happy. Sometimes he shouts at me but it’s only when I mess up and I think I need it. I need him to motivate me. It helps me pace my life. So this is my thank you. I know that in years to come, he will still be there to support me and guide me and cheer me up. It’s just a shame that I have to share him with millions of people…. But I don’t know what I would do if I were to lose him…because the man that I’m in love with is music.

 

 

 

 

 

PLEASE TELL ME I GOT SOME OF YOU… even if it was just for a second!

25. Honest Interview Answers

This post is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend at Paddington today.

There appears to be a shift towards competency style interviews. In case you don’t know what that means, it’s the type of interview where they ask you to describe relevant experiences you’ve had that demonstrate the skills the employer is looking for. These include things such as:

  • Describe a time you’ve worked in a team.
  • Tell me about a time you managed a project.
  • What is your greatest achievement?

Now if you’ve done a shred of preparation, you will have answers to the popular questions but you often find yourself exaggerating your role or just bullshitting till the cows come home. I have met people who completely fabricate some of their experiences and to be honest I think very few people can pull that off.

I thought I’d give my ‘real’ answers to some of the questions out there.

Tell me about yourself.

My name is Aliya. I’m studying Mathematics at university. I have feelings towards numbers, in particular 3 is my favourite number. My star sign is Aquarius. I love to read, tell stories, gossip and watch movies. I really love Harry Potter and I’m still waiting for my Hogwarts letter. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life but I want to be good at what I do. I am extremely clumsy and a little weird most of the time but I like to think that makes me entertaining to be around. I really think you ought to hire me.

What do you know about the role you applied for?

I have absolutely no idea what I will be doing but I need the experience. Instead I will regurgitate anything I’ve read on your company website including lots of terminology I don’t understand so please don’t ask me what anything means. Kthanks.

Give an example of when you’ve been a leader.

My friends can never decide where to go for lunch. This usually leads to five minutes of everyone asking everyone else where they want to go to lunch and finally ending with me deciding. I believe this shows real leadership on a daily basis. I’m also really bossy so if people can’t make decisions and they ask for my advice, I make their decisions for them.  If you don’t like it, don’t ask me.

Tell me about a time you missed a deadline.

I’m being brutally honest here when I say I have never missed any deadline of importance unless I was physically ill. I don’t see why I should have to make up some fake reason and use it to explain what I’ve learnt and how that developed my ‘character’. Leave me alone.

Tell us about a situation when you failed to communicate appropriately.

That would be most of the time. I find myself increasingly searching for the right word and getting phrases jumbled in my mouth. I also have a tendency to switch accents unnecessarily and turn into a freshie when I’m feeling awkward. Don’t even get me started on what happens to my verbal communication skills when I’m around someone I find attractive. I either become mute or babble like a crazy woman. I am sure one day I will seduce someone with my awkwardness.

How do you adapt to change?

I hate change but I understand it is inevitable. It will never be something I embrace because I am a stickler for routine but if the change is permanent, then I will do my best to adapt to it. Take my mobile phone for example. I upgraded from a brick to a Blackberry. I really missed my brick initially but now I can’t imagine being without my Blackberry. That’s my adaptive skills right there.

What is your weakness?

I don’t have faith in people’s abilities until I’ve seen it with my own eyes. This prevents me delegating effectively because I don’t trust that people can do things to the standard that I can. This sounds incredibly pompous but hey once I am convinced you can do what you say you do, then I am very happy to share the responsibility and workload. But I need convincing first.

What is your biggest mistake?

Well that’s a loaded question. Excluding an array of personal mistakes, I think my biggest blunder was getting the date of my driving test wrong. That was the height of idiotic. I genuinely thought it was on a Wednesday but it turned out to be on Tuesday. I still think the person examining me must have been on something because I am a threat to society behind a wheel.

Describe a situation where you had a disagreement or an argument. How did you handle it?

There are few things I’ve fought as hard for as I did to study Mathematics at university. I was destined to go down the medicine route according to my parents and the rest of my family and normally I just cave to their demands. However I felt very strongly that medicine wasn’t right for me and for the first time I grew some balls and stood my ground. I am not exaggerating when I said numerous dinner discussions, tears and emotional breakdowns followed. This was probably not the best way to handle it but it worked so I don’t regret it.

 

And there you have it. ‘Real’ interview answers!

Over and Out.