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Posts tagged ‘50 shades of grey’

154. Mr Grey Will See You Now.

I’m sorry I’ve got to talk about it. Today the full trailer for the 50 Shades of Grey movie was released and well… there’s a lot to say. Viewer discretion advised. Blah blah. 

First of all. Release date. Valentine’s Day. Who decided that would be appropriate? The first book in the series is not exactly romantic. And I can’t imagine going to see it as a couple. Both parties would come out feeling hot and bothered, the lady probably fan-girling and the man feeling inadequate. 

The trailer revolves around the first meeting between shy student Anastasia Steele and CEO/ kinky sex god/ gazillionaire Christian Grey. We see his office, the infamous elevator kiss (what is about elevators?!), Charlie Tango the helicopter, brooding Christian playing the piano and Christian the Dom in those jeans. Meanwhile Ana spends most of the trailer breathing heavily, staring at Christian and asking him to ‘enlighten her’. Pretty faithful to the books.

As for the actors. There was so much fuss around who should play Christian Grey. Fan favourites were Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder but in the end they went with Calvin Klein model Jamie Dornan. Everyone envisions Christian Grey to their own tastes but personally I have no qualms about Dornan in the looks department. The man is hella distracting in a very very good way. I wish they kept his beard in the film.

Dat hair. Dat beard. Dat face. Dat jawline.

However Christian’s appeal is in his domineering attitude and the fact that he knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.  I wasn’t seeing this quality in the trailer but who knows? I also felt like the sound of his voice wasn’t ‘hot’ enough. 

Prior to the trailer I wasn’t convinced that Dakota Johnson was right as Ana mainly because I’d envisioned Alexis Bledel. However I think her portrayal of a quiet, innocent girl who was overwhelmed by Christian and afraid of how he made her feel hit the mark.

The secondary characters basically got zero screen time though we do catch a glimpse of Taylor and the Grey family. However Ana’s best friend Kate and the infamous Mrs Robinson are notably absent.

Overall I’d say I was mildly impressed but mainly because I had such low expectations. I’m not sure how the more graphic scenes are going to play out or if it’s even possible to do them tastefully. How far are they going to go? I hope they leave a little to the imagination because I really don’t want to see everythang.

Except in my mind’s eye. That’s okay.

Over and Out! Laters baby!

98. What kind of reader are you?

The Devourer

This person doesn’t read books, they devour them! Hunger Games trilogy- yeah read it in 3 days. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- read it one day. They are hellbent on finishing their book as soon as possible…
Goes to the bathroom, takes book with them. Sitting at the dinner table, takes book with them. Meeting friends? Not anymore! Cancels and reads book instead.
For that day, they are completely and utterly immersed into another world.

My Harry Potter Experience

The Slow Coach

This person is still reading the same book 6 months on, reading approximately 5 pages a day and justifying it with ‘oh the plot is super complex and there are lots of characters’. Seriously I could hand write the book in that time…

The Organised One

This reader sets a guideline ie. they decide to read between 30-50 pages each days and actually stick to it! They pace themselves and take time to savour the details.

The Commuter

They guys are always reading on the bus/train making sure all the other passengers can see how well they are using their time and looking down upon the peasants reading the Metro. That is of course unless they’re reading 50 Shades of Grey in which case they’ll replace the book cover or hide behind their Kindle. You need not have bothered- your dilated eyes and panting give you away…

The Literature Hipster

Not content with what the ‘average’ folk read, they insist on reading things like the Iliad or something in Latin. More importantly they must inform everyone what they’re reading and occasionally quote it to really dig it in. You think you’re well read- I get it. Now shut up and let me read Twilight in peace.

The ‘oh whoops spoiled it’

This happens for books that are part of a series. This person reads the first one, is desperate to know what happens next, wiki’s it (or watches the TV series) and then decides that they don’t need to read the rest of the books because they now know how it ends. Well done.

The Later Later

Gets the book, leaves on desk for 3 months, renews it 10 times and eventually returns the book having never opened it.

The Pretender

Reading the spark notes version does not count as having read the book no matter how well you know the ‘themes’ and ‘symbolism’. Cheater!

Guilty!

Illiterate

What’s a book? These idiots can’t read nothing unless it’s in chat-speak or all gangster like. Yeh sik blad. Safe safe.
Let me know when you get a job.

Over and Out!

9. 50 shades

First day back at uni for the spring term. I think I was actually excited about returning. I mean I woke up voluntarily at 7 *appalled face*– must have really missed my friends.

Most of my thoughts right now are about how to minimise how badly I will flop tomorrow’s assessment centre (see earlier post- I settled on a skirt btw). I feel like I have a hundred reminders in my head of what not to do but hardly anything about what I should do. Don’t talk to much. Don’t talk too little. Don’t giggle hysterically. Don’t be too serious. You get the jist. I think it’s driving me crazy. Instead I’m going to talk about something NOT internship related.

I was on the train on the way to uni today at about 9 in the morning and I saw a lady reading 50 shades of grey. There are several things wrong with this observation. 50 shades should not be read in paperback. It should always be read in e-book form so that people don’t know that you are reading it. You should always looks embarrassed/ borderline mortified when reading such drivel- she’s wasn’t. In fact I think she was smiling. Lastly but not least, IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN THE DAY TO BE READING SUCH STUFF. Save it for the night time. The weird thing is, this isn’t even the worst thing I’ve seen involving 50 shades. I saw a guy reading it once and he looked like he was enjoying it…

For those of you living under a rock, 50 shades is about an ‘innocent’ girl called Anastasia being captivated by sex god supreme Mr Christian Grey who is filthy rich and supposedly has a face and body to rival Adonis himself. Unfortunately he harbours some strange ‘desires’. Basically there’s lots of naughty business everywhere, anywhere, all the time. Both of them must have quite a libido. There’s a vague storyline chucked in for lols too.

Now I watched Pride and Prejudice for about the 5th time last weekend and seriously 50 shades has nothing, absolutely nothing, on a classic like Pride and Prejudice. Women should be reading Jane Austen and swooning over Mr Darcy, not Christian controlled-by-his-penis Grey. Mr Darcy has honour and grace whereas Christian is all style, no substance. Similarly whilst Anastasia is far better than constant whinger Bella Swan, Elizabeth Bennet wins hands down. She is outspoken, headstrong and probably has more balls than Christian Grey.

Let’s compare.

Declaration of love:

P & P: “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
50: “I’d like to bite your lip.”

Happiness:

P & P: “I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
50: “My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.”

Other:

P & P: “We are all fools in love”
50: “Who’s he kidding? He’s no gentleman. He has my panties”

#End rant.

With all this said, I have read the 50 shades trilogy and there is something about it that makes you want to keep reading. *grumble grumble* Pride and Prejudice is still better though and should receive more attention!

Edit: Clearly The Daily Mail read my blog because they responded with this article 2 days later!