Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘awkward’

108. No Not You!

This guy LAHWF on YouTube is absolutely jokes. He conducts social experiments and then shares people’s reactions- in this particular video he makes people feel as if he’s going to high five them but actually high fives someone behind them. Hilarity ensues! Enjoy!

Over and Out!

107. Constructive Criticism

Today I had my mid-internship feedback session. It was supposed to be informal but my blood pressure was elevated the entire time. I’m not sure why I was so nervous- maybe it’s because I’ve never had feedback like this before or maybe I was bracing myself for criticism.

My line manager said lots of nice stuff but of course it is the negatives that stick out and keep replaying in my mind. Though of course they weren’t negatives, they were ‘constructive criticism’. The biggest of these was how I wasn’t making the most of the social scene which is a toughie as far as criticism goes. It’s not something like ‘Aliya you need to be on time’- that’s very easily rectifiable. This is more like Aliya we think you need to be more outgoing- that kinda requires a personality transplant.

Now a lot of things that make you ‘outgoing’ are things I don’t do. I don’t drink. I don’t club. That is not my lifestyle and it’s not something I’m prepared to compromise on. But I am guilty of not speaking to enough people when I have the opportunity. I mean I know the people around me pretty well but not so much people on the other floors outside of people I’ve worked for. But that’s what I’m like. I take time to warm to people and I prefer small intimate circles rather than big networks. It’s not that I’m scared of an awkward conversation- I just hate inane conversation. I like quirky. I’m not interested if you were out clubbing till 3am and that you’re still hung over but I am interested if you can click your fingers in 8 different ways.

So how did I take all of this?

Well obviously I didn’t love hearing it but I can’t dispute it either. All of her comments were fair and justified. I just need to decide what to do about it now.

I mean I could force myself into being more of a social butterfly but it would be temporary. What’s the point of faking it to get a graduate offer and then going back to my reclusive self? That’s IF I get one. I don’t think I will and in that situation it might for the best- I’d be better off at a smaller company.

Why have I been watching this for the last 5 minutes?

 

Over and Out!

105. 5 Tips To Act More Confident

I wouldn’t call myself shy but I’m just as anxious as anyone else about how to act at important social occasions. I hate bring stuck in a room with unfamiliar people who I’m supposed to impress and charm with my wit and humour. But sometimes it’s just necessary. I’ve come up with a few tips that’ll give you a confidence boost and they’re not wishy washy stuff like ‘be yourself’ because my god if we did that, they’d probably run for the hills.

1. Dress the part

You need to shed the clothes you usually wear- they’re too associated with your usual socially awkward self. Wear something new, something different, something flattering that’ll make you feel good about yourself. Ladies, put on your favourite underwear. No-one else will see it (or maybe they will, who knows what kind of occasion this is) but you’ll know in your head that you look hella fine and it’ll shine through in your body language. Guys, wear something tailored.

2. Find your inner gangster

Love them or hate them, gangsters are confident to the point of being obnoxious. The point is if you can find your inner gangster, you can tap into that confidence store. For me, the best way to do this is through music. Find a song that makes you feel like a #BOSS and perform it. If you can’t sing, mime. Give your mirror the best performance of its life. Be careful though- you don’t want to start putting up your middle finger and yelling YOLO if you’re attending a formal do. Let’s leave that shit to Drake.
Song Suggestions: I’m On One- DJ Khaled, Do it like a dude- Jessie J, Pour it Up- Rihanna but anything about sex, money and general bragging works here.

WEEZY

3. Practice rapping

My last tip was to help your mental confidence and body language but this one will help with your speech. There’s nothing worse than getting nervous and stuttering or fumbling over your words but you’ll do this a lot less if you can rap (or at least try to!). If you can nail Busta Rhymes’ verse from ‘Look at me Now’ (if you haven’t heard it- it’s ridiculously fast), then you deserve a recording contract and you’ll have no problem getting the words out in a conversation.
Song Suggestions: Just lose it- Eminem, Move that body- Nelly, Look at me now- Chris Brown but anything fast paced is good.

4. Read and form opinions

Watch the news. Read magazines. Just be up to date about what’s going on in the world. That way if the conversation dries up, you have some back up topics. Basically if you’re speaking about something sensible you’ll instantly look more confident (as long as you don’t go all verbal diarrhoea). I find that sport, popular TV shows and gossip are good hooks.

5. Be Optimistic

Not only do pessimistic people annoy me but usually their lack of faith in things is a reflection of their lack of faith in themselves. That’s not attractive. You want to appear positive and you can do this by implementing small changes in your body language. Look people in the eye. Keep your back straight and your head held high. Don’t fold your arms. Find the humour in things and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself but most importantly; smile (or at least don’t frown) even if things go wrong.

Gah he’s so cute!

There you have it. I am by no means an amazingly confident person but I find that these things help me and maybe they’ll help some of you.

Over and Out!

66. I think my discomfort-meter just peaked.

lucaspeytontruelovealways

Good God, seeing something steamy on TV when my parents are around is one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever.

Picture the scene: Two characters will be talking and to my horror I’ll realise they’re flirting and the sexual tension is building. Two seconds later they leap on other, snogging the living daylights out of one other and ripping off each other clothes.

Here’s what usually happens when I’m stuck in this situation:

Avoid all eye contact
Look anywhere…anywhere at all, besides the tv screen. This is the perfect time to start counting how many flowers are on my wallpaper (126).

Fidget 
Do something, anything, so that it looks like I’m distracted from the shenanigans on tv. I usually feign getting more ‘comfortable’, patting the cushions or twiddling my thumbs.

Check my phone
Lifesaver! Remember that text I got yesterday that I couldn’t be bothered to reply to- well now’s the perfect time to reply with an essay. Check Facebook. Scroll through my photos. Change my ringtone settings- it doesn’t matter that my phone is always on silent. Just look busy.

Take a loo break
If I’ve seen the movie before and anticipate a steamy scene, I will just dash upstairs and have a pee. If my bladder’s empty, I’ll simply wash my hands and contemplate life or something.
I did this one time and I went downstairs feeling smug that I’d just escaped an awkward situation only to realise that my dad had pressed pause so I didn’t miss anything. Epic fail.

Head for the fridge
Fill the awkwardness with food. One time I searched the fridge but there was nothing decent to snack on. I didn’t want to come back empty handed so I took a tomato.

Awkward fast forwarding
If the show’s recorded, the natural thing to do is to fast forward. This is an awful time to lose the remote (I’m still scarred from that incident). The bad thing about fast forwarding is that you still ‘see’ everything…just very quickly.

Change the channel
If it’s not recorded, someone will usually change the channel and I’ll pretend to be really engrossed about some documentary about.. something. There have been a few times when my dad’s changed the channel and then changed back (often more than once) but they’re still ‘at it’. Cringe.
The worst time was when my dad changed channels to a programme that was also in the middle of a steamy moment. I could have cried.

Over and Out!

56. Well this is awkward…

I’m sure you guys have heard of the ‘Awkward Turtle’. For those of you living under a rock, the Awkward Turtle is a gesture made during an awkward situation (usually after an extended period of silence) that may either diffuse the tension or make the situation a hundred times more awkward. You can make the gesture by placing one hand on top of the other, keeping your fingers together and rotating your thumbs in a circular motion.

Photo Credit: thatplaceinmyhead.wordpress.com

This is a pretty versatile gesture; it can be used in many situations such as:

Person 1: I’m in love with you.

Person 2: Ummm…That’s nice.

Person 1: …

Person 2: *fidget*…

Person 1: *awkward turtle*

What I wasn’t aware of until recently, was how many alternatives to Awkward Turtle there were. I thought I’d share a few.

Awkward (Turtle) Babies

When one Awkward Turtle isn’t enough, it’s time to bust out the Awkward babies. It’s a bit difficult to explain how to do this in words. Just watch the video below, it’s like 5 seconds long.

Awkward Aquarium

This is when two people in a group are having an awkward moment. Everyone else can help by pretending to be underwater creatures and swimming around the two awkward people. Because that will make the situation better, right?
Alternatively it’s used when a situation is so intensely awkward, you feel the need for an aquarium of awkward turtles.

I couldn’t find a picture of this so here’s a picture of an aquarium.

Awkward Palm Tree

Self explanatory really. You put your arms up, cross them over and point your hands out imitating a palm tree. You may accompany this with small bird sounds for added effect.

Photo Credit: thekeyboardhero.wordpress.com

Awkward Balloon

This is normally used if you aren’t being included in a conversation, if you’re being ignored or if you’re trying to say something but you repeatedly get interrupted (I hate that!). Basically you just stand there as if you’re holding an invisible balloon. In silence.

Awkward Pancake

This one isn’t very common but the idea is you hold out an invisible pan in which you are making pancakes. Mime flipping the pancake and watch it fly up. Continue to look up until the awkwardness has diffused and then theatrically catch the pancake.

Hope you ‘learnt’ (?) something new! Over and Out!

28. Welcome to my humble abode

It’s only when you have other people around your house that you realise just how weird your home and family are. Yesterday I had my friends over for belated birthday celebrations highlighting exactly this point…

  • When someone phones us, 3 phones start ringing all of which have different ring tones which just leads to an almighty racket. Stopping this din is the only reason we pick up the phone.
  • People are always phoning my house, quite often at the same time so we were forced to get call waiting.
  • My parents are very affectionate and I don’t really mind, but if my friends are right in front of me and are here for my 21st and my mum is squishing my cheeks like I’m 5, then I do mind.
  • My mum is a tutor so there are ALWAYS kids at my house. Many of them turn up unannounced or an hour late or their parents are late picking them up. This also means we must have the most rung doorbell in our general vicinity.

All of the above make it bloody difficult to watch anything on tv without subtitles! What would I do without internet tv?!

Very few people can enter my home without experiencing at least one awkward moment. I guess this is the price you pay for knowing me. Awkward moments ensue due the lack of privacy I have. The only doors in my house that have a lock are the bathroom and the front door. So if we’re dancing like fools in the living room, we gon’ get caught. If we’re watching a movie that has only one sex scene, my parents WILL walk in during that one part and judge me forever. This is law.

With all that said, having my friends around yesterday was great fun! We watched Step Up because it has such an unpredictable plotline (!) and so I could drool over Channing Tatum (potential Perv Post candidate!). There was also lots of munching and even after telling my mum to tone it down, there was still enough food for 20. That’s my mother for you. Always feeding people. Afterwards robot dancing, there were attempts at moonwalking and twirling followed by a rather impressive rap battle of ‘Ninjas’ in Paris.  Yeh boi!

Over and Out!