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Posts tagged ‘bhangra’

155. Types of People You See On the Dancefloor at an Indian Wedding

The Closet Professional

These people have to be physically dragged onto the dancefloor but once they get there, they’re busting out moves you’ve never seen before and they’re bruk-bruk-brukking it down like no tomorrow.

The Girls Standing in a Circle doing ‘Tali’

You know what I mean. Shuffle around and do the customary clap in front of you and behind your shoulder. Basically the brown version of ring a ring a roses.

The Bhangra Champions

I swear at every party, there’s a duo of Punjabi guys hitting such fierce moves that it makes your thighs hurt just watching them. Balle balle my friends.

The Uncle

Towards the end of the night, Coca Cola and/or alcohol lead to over confident uncles dancing the dances from three decades ago. I’m talking moonwalk, night fever, the standing-on-your-toes Jackson style and randomness.

Luna Lovegood

That one person in the corner who’s just doing their own thang oblivious to everyone else.

The one that wants to dance but isn’t allowed to

Sometimes people are forced to contain their enthusiasm in case they dishonour the family name with booty shaking. Doesn’t stop them trying though.

The kids

Their dancing basically consists of jumping up and down with their arms in the air. 

The Non-Indian People

Usually looking mildly uncomfortable and attempting to do the one hand on hip, other hand doing the lightbulb. They start getting really excited when a Western song comes on, only to realise it’s a Bhangra remix. Sorry guys.

The bride and groom

Ahh the awkward First dance. Here several things are observed. The couple maintain a safe distance apart. His hands are super glued to her side, no wandering allowed! And of course the mandatory sway/ shuffle. All the while the aunties look on tutting.

Over and Out!


36. East Meets West

…or as I keep saying Eats Meets West (try saying it- sly little tongue twister!)

My university’s Indian Society hosts a night of dancing, singing and entertainment every year called East Meets West. I’ve gone every since coming to university so it’s almost become tradition. This year’s one was held yesterday so naturally I went. I dragged along my friend…let us call her Shakira (hehe)… and her sister and our seats got upgraded. I think they’re lucky talismans or similar because every time I visit the theatre with them, we get bumped up!

It was a really good show!

First off the comedian was actually funny this time.  He pretty much dissed this guy called Hugh sitting at the front for the whole night. To be fair, he had it coming. He’s called Hugh for god’s sake. The comedian looked a little bit like Lemar in the sense that he had braided hair so towards the end of the night, during a moment of silence one randomer at the back just started singing ‘If there’s any justice in the world…’ which cracked me up. It was also really amusing hearing a Nigerian man swear in Punjabi (he lived in Southall for most of his life- standard)!

The acts were pretty damn good too. As usual the dancing was far better than the singing. There was a pretty cringey version of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Cry me a river’ and some traditional Indian singing which is essentially vocal acrobatics using the ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ sounds. I really enjoyed the Wushu act. There was one girl in it who was pint sized (lol I can talk) but she genuinely looked like she could kick my butt. There was confetti on the floor and she did a leg movement that was so fast, the confetti started blowing. It was like a real-time Matrix moment! The Micheal Jackson impersonator was also really good. His moves were so on point and he perfected the groin thrust. However my favourite act had to be Imperial’s Bhangra squad. They just destroyed the competition. They had energy. Their formations were tight and everyone was dancing with huge infectious grins. Also their thighs must be made of steel!

(The video below is an extended version of the one they performed at East Meets West. Awesome part at 5:50)

There was a fashion show thrown in too. At one point, 5 guys just decided to take their shirts off and flex. Not sure how this constitutes fashion but hey where there are 6 pacs, there are no complaints.

Lastly, the event was sponsored by Ernst & Young so we had to sit through a cheesy presentation about why they’re so awesome and put their employees first and how that makes them different. But doesn’t every company say that? Surely that makes them all the same? After the presentation, this guy came on stage to talk and I don’t think I’ve heard a worse advertisement for a company. He genuinely said ‘Ernst & Young isn’t perfect but it’s not a bad place to work’. Like are you shitting me? What if I was asked at an interview what I thought of the company and I said ‘yo you guys are not bad’? Bye bye job prospects.

Till next time! Over and out!