Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘crush’

134. Emotionally Single

Literally me from the age of 14 to 20. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But there is something about talking to your crush that is both exciting and frustrating; it’s a mix between the anxiety from over analysing everything they’re saying (oh my god they said ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’… success!) and joy that they’re even responding.

Yes I am that psychotic girl who hides behind her keyboard. I am like 500 million times funnier and more interesting online because I feel #like a boss and fear nothing. In person in any kind of vaguely non-platonic situation I’m either silent or chatting absolute bollocks. I am fail.

This video got me thinking though…I haven’t had a crush on anyone non-fictional/ non celebrity for a while now… and it’s a bit a rarity for me (I don’t crush on loads of people, just a few people but for extended periods of time). It feels weird.

I’m not thinking about anyone else. I’m not wondering what they’re doing. I’m making even less of an effort when it comes to what I look like (didn’t think it was possible). That last one’s quite bad. I shouldn’t have to fancy someone to put in some time to distinguish myself as a woman.

What all this does means however is that I now have a lot more free time (good thing too because I have so much damn work). Who knew pining was so time consuming?

Secretly though, I think I miss it. Sure it was emotionally draining and it felt like my hormones were flying all over the place but something small like my crush starting a conversation could make my day and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now something really special has to happen to make my day. Even academic success doesn’t cut it anymore.

The worst thing about all of this is the timing. This is not the optimum time to be emotionally single especially when my mother is saying things like ‘you need to find a man’ as if I can just order one I like online. It is not easy and I don’t have time to get my flirt on. I’m not even sure I remember how to get my flirt on.

Ehhh I feel like a younger, brown version of Bridget Jones.

Over and Out!

Advertisements

18. Codenames

First off, I had my Managerial Exam yesterday. I have no idea if my answers were complete and utter rubbish but who cares? It’s over! Yeh boi.

I was chatting to one of my closest friends last night and I noticed just how much we used codenames in our conversations, often without realising.  This is a pretty common female trait because we find ourselves in so many situations where we can’t talk freely… during lessons at school, on the phone, when parents are around, when people are reading your IM’s etc.

Every group of girls has some codename for ‘I’M ON MY PERIOD’. In secondary school we used to call it the ‘curse’.
Example: Ahh man I’ve got a ‘stomach ache’. I hate being ‘cursed’. *grumble* *grumble*

Every single crush gets their own codename so that we may swoon about them all day. Old codenames include rock, stick, stone, lime and Zac (inspired by Zac Efron). In case you’re wondering, these are not all the guys I’ve crushed on- they include my friend’s ones also.  We used these names so much that if one of us actually went out with the person in question, we still used the codename when it was perfectly acceptable to use their actual names.
Example: Oh my god two o’clock! Two o’clock! Rock and stick are walking this way. Look cool! Look cool! *puffs hair*

There were codenames for naughty business. Where this came from I don’t know, but we used grapes=sex.
Example: Oh man. She’s always having grapes. She must have a ‘sweet tooth’.

We used the analogy of laughing for kissing. So giggling would be a quick kiss or a peck on the cheek. Laughing would be a kiss and being in hysterics would indicate a full blown make out session.
Example: I haven’t laughed so much in my life!

On the phone, all guys are called ‘she’ or ‘her which occasionally leads to confusion.

Example: Yeah for some reason, she went and hid in the guy’s toilets. Wait what?

In general however I find this method particularly effective as it minimises questions from curious parents.

In other news, Perv Post 1 will be coming soon!

Over and Out.

16. -_- Motherrr

I don’t know if this is an asian trait but my mum jumps to conclusions faster than I can run to the fridge. I said literally 5 sentences about a guy from university and I might have complimented him like once and she comes out with:

Do you like him?

*splutters*

Does he like you?

*jaw drop*

What’s his name? Does he have facebook? Show me his picture. Oh he’s cute. Where does he live? Is he clever? What were his GCSE’s?

*silence*

Invite him to your birthday party!

MUM I REALLY DON’T KNOW HIM THAT WELL.

 

-_- GCSEs? Seriously? What is this… some sort ‘filtering’? I hardly know the guy! How am I supposed to know such details?! Jeez.

My mother also thinks I am some sort of human incarnation of Aphrodite and that I can seduce any guy I want. I don’t it’s possible to be much further from the truth -_-

Less like this…

 

...and more like this

…and more like this…please guys…control yourselves.

Another concern is that my mum is annoyingly right about me and tends to figure out this sort of stuff before I actually do. But NO. She is not right this time!

More worryingly, is she going to assault the dude I actually like in a similar fashion? He’s gonna go running for the door.