So my dad thinks he can fix/fit/install anything and to give him credit, 9 times out of 10, he can. It just takes him a long long time.
Yesterday the weather was lovely so he decided it would be the perfect opportunity to fit the new window for our living room (which has been sitting in our garage for the best part of year).
It was all going so well. We removed the glass from the original window, walloped the edges of the window (I got to help with this – so satisfying) and painstakingly removed the window frame. Then we hauled the new window into place and secured it. Next was putting in the new glass.
To secure the glass you need to clip some stuff around the edges, almost like a border. However my dad wanted to put some ‘packers’ in first (learning the lingo) except he needed to remind himself how to do it so went off to watch a YouTube tutorial (I can’t make this up).
Meanwhile the glass is literally secured by the act of gravity and some duct tape. I warned my dad that this was too flimsy and he was adamant that it would be fine.
I kid you not. 15 minutes later, a gust of wind resulted in the glass crashing onto the floor, shards everywhere.
I learnt that my fight or flight response is screaming. Like a banshee.
I spent the rest of evening cleaning up and hoovering glass. Think I deserve an award for not telling my dad ‘I told you so’.
Given we didn’t want to get burgled, my dad installed the broken window (one side was still miraculously intact) and slept downstairs with a bat.
My dad loves to pull pranks and his favourite victim is my mother. Now my mum isn’t one to get easily surprised (all mothers have eyes at the back of their heads after all) but occasionally my dad catches her completely off guard to terrifying effect. Today was such a day AND he managed to get an accomplice to aid him.
We had a guest come to our house early in the morning but my mum didn’t hear the doorbell because she was watering the flowers in the garden. Instead my dad opened the door. It was my mum’s friend who just wanted to drop by to say ‘hi’. He convinced her it would be a good idea to surprise my mum. What he did was call my mum from inside of the house and she opened the garden door fulling expecting to see my dad behind it. Instead my dad had our guest stationed there who my mother totally didn’t expect to see.
She let out a blood curdling scream which I heard from upstairs in my room with the windows closed. She then burst into tears. I shouldn’t have laughed. My mum crying should not be amusing but I did. I laughed. I mean come on- as far as pranks go, this was a complete winner. I think the fact that she was so relaxed made her even more unprepared for the shock.
Anyhow I went down and consoled her. I have rarely seen her so pissed/ shaken. She is totally not going to speak him for the next few hours (minimum). My dad and the guest meanwhile were looking visibly guilty. I doubt they’ll be trying that again anytime soon. Lol.
On my days off, I’m usually in charge of making lunch (or in my case breakfast) but today my Dad kindly volunteered to make it instead. I got the call/yell from downstairs that food was ready (Aluuuu nechay ao!) and I saw this:
I like vegetables… you know as an accompaniment to real food. I was sure that my dad would bring something else out like some grilled fish, roast chicken perhaps (wishful thinking), heck even some potatoes. Nothing came.
I stared at my dad all blank faced and said ‘but where is the food?’ to which he said ‘this is the food’.
Disappointment level: Jack Sparrow
But why is the rum gone?!
I ate my bland rabbit food but I’ll be making my own lunch in future, thank you very much.
Over and Out!