Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘hair’

Sorting Out My Face 

So I took this whole week off work (much needed I assure you) because I felt like it. I was able to restart my blog, catch up on sleep, chill with the parents, watch movies, read fanfiction, sleep super late and stuff my face whenever I pleased. Unfortunately I have to go back to work tomorrow. 

Don’t get me wrong. I like my job but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna moan about going back…

It doesn’t help that I totally let myself go his week (and the few weeks before) and I kinda feel like I should look decent upon my return. Unfortunately getting myself into a decent state and actually sorting out my face is a longer process than you’d think. So long in fact that I need to mentally prepare myself beforehand.

I had to:

  1. Scrub every inch of my copper smelling body and dust filled hair (due to renovation work next door). I felt 10 kilos lighter  after my bath/exorcism. 
  2. Sort out my underarms. I look forward to be able to lift them freely. 
  3. Wax off my moustache and sideburns. 
  4. Shave my legs even though no one will see them. 
  5. Use a facial scrub to remove the layer of grime on my face. 

This takes hours and hours. How do some women look flawless 24 7?Where do they find the time? Where do they find the energy? Just how?!

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122. Makeover. Photoshoot. Why am I doing this?

Sometime during my internship, Shakira and I bumped into a random person outside the station selling a makeover day and I don’t know if it was the weather or I had a long day at work but we ended up buying it. We booked it for two months time and didn’t really think about it until a few days ago when we had to start preparing.

This morning when I woke up, my first thought was WHY AM I DOING THIS? I don’t know the first thing about hair and beauty. My beauty essentials are moisturising cream and eye pencil. I still haven’t figured out how to utilise liquid eyeliner. I rarely paint my nails because they’re usually half bitten. Basically I’m a disgrace to the beauty community.

However I thought: fuck it. It’ll be an experience, good or bad, at least it’ll be interesting.

As part of the day, they gave us a manicure (lol), an aromatherapy hand massage, styled our hair and gave us a full blown makeover. After that there was the photoshoot… which was the part that I was worried about. My mental commentary was something along the lines of:

How do I stand? What do I do with my hands? How do I smile? Should I pout? Can I even pout? *commence awkward fish faces in the mirror* argh Argh ARGH.

However I need not have worried. The photographer clearly knew what he was doing. He told us exactly where to sit, where to look, where to put our hands. All of this he did very quickly so I just felt like I was following instructions. Head here. Face up. Chin down. I can do this.

It turned out to be a really fun day. Definitely worth the experience.

So yeah. This is my face. 

26091301 SUMAIRA & ALIYA 012

Thanks Photoshop.

I hope this doesn’t turn into my Rishta (pre-wedding) photo. Because they will be hella disappointed when they see me in reality.

Over and Out!

99. Anti-Pervert Hairy Leggings…what the…

Disclaimer: these aren’t my legs.

Hairy leggings…or contraceptive fashion as they’re calling it. Apparently they’re all the rage in China!

They’re being sold as “Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out”.  

Hold up just a second.

Super sexy; unless hairiness is your ‘thing’, I think we can safely agree this is more repellent than sexy.

Anti-pervert, essential for all young girls; just how bad are Chinese men that these sorts of measures need to be resorted to? If they are that bad, surely that’s the bigger issue here?

I’m not even sure if it will keep men at bay. The first time I saw it, I was very much wtf but more so than that, I was curious. Is it real hair? What does it feel like? Do they come in different hair colours? The guys will probably want to come and stroke them.

I just have so many questions about this.

Who came up with this?

Who actually thought ‘yes this is what women need’… I’m going to go get it manufactured and I’m going to get it made with really coarse dark hair.

Who actually bought it?!

I would be mortified walking around like that. These girls must have balls.
Also the people buying this must be fairly fashion conscious. Clearly they want to wear short dresses…how exactly do these leggings look good with that?

Is it really necessary?

Come on. If you don’t want male attention, just put on trousers like the rest of us do when our legs become socially unacceptable.
If it’s hot, why not wear a floaty skirt or a maxi dress? There are so many other options.
If you truly believe this is the best way, why not just go natural and stop shaving?

What’s next? A gorilla suit?…

Over and Out!

P.S Ibtehaal, have you seen anyone wearing these?

84. And the award for best customer service goes to….

I did not realise getting my hair cut would be so much effort…

My Mum has been going on and on about the state of my hair. You look like a ‘jungli’ she said. Long hair doesn’t suit round faces she said.  Go get it cut Aliya. I finally caved and agreed to get it done today.

We have a hairdresser’s down the end of our road. It’s about a 5-10 minute walk away and it’s owned by an Indian lady. You already know this story is going to be hilarious. Now this shop isn’t just a hairdressers, it’s a beauty parlour too which means there’s always someone on the side getting their eyebrows threaded or their moustache waxed. I walked in (trying to ignore the women wincing on the side) and asked if I could get a haircut. Before you ask why I didn’t book an appointment, I will highlight that this place is owned by brown people. If I requested an appointment, they’d probably just look at me blankly. I was informed that their one hairdresser wasn’t there at the moment but that she could be there in half an hour. I said fine, and went home resolving to come back in half an hour. As I was about to leave, the lady asked me if I wanted my eyebrows done. I said ‘no thanks’.

I went home and watched the first half of a House episode before making my way back to the hairdressers. This time I was told to take a seat. I noticed a lady come in to get her eyebrows done and for some unknown reason, she had her teenage son (about 13/14 years old) with her who looked like he’d prefer to bury a hole and die in it than be at a beauty parlour full of women. Meanwhile I was stuck watching some God awful Indian drama to pass the time. After waiting for 15 minutes and the hairdresser still being a no-show,  I was informed that she thought I wouldn’t be coming back (how did she come to that conclusion) so she didn’t leave home and could I come back at 7pm?

I am quite a reasonable person most of the time but I was pretty peeved to hear that. Despite this, I agreed to come back at 7. As I was about to step out, the lady asked again if I wanted my eyebrows done. NO! What made you think I changed my mind in under an hour?! Leave my eyebrows ALONE.

Finally I went back at 7pm- this being my third visit to the shop… and the hairdresser was still not there. Thankfully she turned up in 10 minutes and then spent under 5 minutes actually cutting my hair. I think these guys need a customer service award.

So there you have it. My locks have been cut off. Even if it was a huge headache, at least my Mum is happy… and I got some exercise.

In order news, my head has been hurting me for a while and I assumed it was because I was tying my hair too tight. Turns out I actually have a bump. I have no recollection of ever hitting my head. This concerns me.

[Edit]

aliyahaircut

To be honest for under 5 minutes, I think it came out okay.

70. World Energy Crisis Solved- Just Use My Hair

I washed my hair yesterday! Less than 24 hours later, it looks like I’ve dipped my head in oil. It’s not even like I’ve done any exercise to make me sweaty. Seriously, this is disgusting. And such a bad look.

So yeah, running out of fossil fuels? Worried about nuclear waste? Think renewable energy is ruining the countryside? Have no fear! Just filter my hair and distill it or something. I reckon it could keep the country going for another week or so.

I’ll have the next batch ready for you in  few days -_-