Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘honest’

163. Lies At Work

Now that I’ve been working for 10 months and being a real adult and that, I feel it is time to share some common lies at the office. leggo

What they say: This should take about an hour.
The reality: This will take at least two hours

What they say: Hey, do you have time to job a quick job for me?
The reality: You’re doing this job for me. And chances are it’s not quick.

What they say: While I’m here, I’d like to talk to you about xyz.
The reality: I came here to take to you about xyz.

What they say: Oh, you’re leaving at 5? Good for you.
The reality: You must not have enough work to do. Let me rectify that.

What they say: Thank you for sending that over. Could you also provide xyz?
The reality: I couldn’t care less what you just sent over because it was not what I wanted. Send me what I want dammit.  

What they say: Oh you did that quickly!
The reality: You must have done something wrong.

What they say: I just made a few changes.
The reality: I changed fucking everything.

What they say: Please let me know if you have any questions.
The reality: For the love of god please don’t ask me anything.

What they say: I’d like to request leave on xyz.
The reality: I don’t care what you say. I’m going. This email is a formality.

What they say: Hey how’s that piece of work coming along?
The reality: I wanted it 2 hours ago. What is taking so long?

What they say: What’s your capacity like?
The reality: I have some work for you.

What they say: Hey how’s it going?
The reality: I have some work for you.

What they say: Did you have a good weekend?
The reality: I have some work for you.

See a trend here?

Over and Out!

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125. I hate it when someone asks you for advice and then they get angry because you were honest with them

I don’t get it- do you want my advice or do you just want me to agree with whatever you say? Like let me know- I can start neck exercises in preparation for all the nodding if that’s what you want. I thought it was in the friend job description to look out for your best interests and help you overcome your hurdles, even if one of those hurdles is you getting in your own way.

When my friend asked me if I recommended he study Mathematics at uni, I told him I thought he’d find it difficult and I suggested other subjects that were numerate but not quite so intense.  I think it was a fair comment because I know what a Maths degree entails having lived through three years of it already and I took care to tell him this kindly. However all he heard me saying was ‘no’ and accused me of not being supportive and preventing him from reaching his goals.

My opinion that Maths isn’t right for him ≠ My opinion that no subject is right for him

Why do people interpret things so negatively?

Surely I don’t deserve his anger for thinking there is a better alternative out there for him?

I don’t get it.

Over and Out.

25. Honest Interview Answers

This post is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend at Paddington today.

There appears to be a shift towards competency style interviews. In case you don’t know what that means, it’s the type of interview where they ask you to describe relevant experiences you’ve had that demonstrate the skills the employer is looking for. These include things such as:

  • Describe a time you’ve worked in a team.
  • Tell me about a time you managed a project.
  • What is your greatest achievement?

Now if you’ve done a shred of preparation, you will have answers to the popular questions but you often find yourself exaggerating your role or just bullshitting till the cows come home. I have met people who completely fabricate some of their experiences and to be honest I think very few people can pull that off.

I thought I’d give my ‘real’ answers to some of the questions out there.

Tell me about yourself.

My name is Aliya. I’m studying Mathematics at university. I have feelings towards numbers, in particular 3 is my favourite number. My star sign is Aquarius. I love to read, tell stories, gossip and watch movies. I really love Harry Potter and I’m still waiting for my Hogwarts letter. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life but I want to be good at what I do. I am extremely clumsy and a little weird most of the time but I like to think that makes me entertaining to be around. I really think you ought to hire me.

What do you know about the role you applied for?

I have absolutely no idea what I will be doing but I need the experience. Instead I will regurgitate anything I’ve read on your company website including lots of terminology I don’t understand so please don’t ask me what anything means. Kthanks.

Give an example of when you’ve been a leader.

My friends can never decide where to go for lunch. This usually leads to five minutes of everyone asking everyone else where they want to go to lunch and finally ending with me deciding. I believe this shows real leadership on a daily basis. I’m also really bossy so if people can’t make decisions and they ask for my advice, I make their decisions for them.  If you don’t like it, don’t ask me.

Tell me about a time you missed a deadline.

I’m being brutally honest here when I say I have never missed any deadline of importance unless I was physically ill. I don’t see why I should have to make up some fake reason and use it to explain what I’ve learnt and how that developed my ‘character’. Leave me alone.

Tell us about a situation when you failed to communicate appropriately.

That would be most of the time. I find myself increasingly searching for the right word and getting phrases jumbled in my mouth. I also have a tendency to switch accents unnecessarily and turn into a freshie when I’m feeling awkward. Don’t even get me started on what happens to my verbal communication skills when I’m around someone I find attractive. I either become mute or babble like a crazy woman. I am sure one day I will seduce someone with my awkwardness.

How do you adapt to change?

I hate change but I understand it is inevitable. It will never be something I embrace because I am a stickler for routine but if the change is permanent, then I will do my best to adapt to it. Take my mobile phone for example. I upgraded from a brick to a Blackberry. I really missed my brick initially but now I can’t imagine being without my Blackberry. That’s my adaptive skills right there.

What is your weakness?

I don’t have faith in people’s abilities until I’ve seen it with my own eyes. This prevents me delegating effectively because I don’t trust that people can do things to the standard that I can. This sounds incredibly pompous but hey once I am convinced you can do what you say you do, then I am very happy to share the responsibility and workload. But I need convincing first.

What is your biggest mistake?

Well that’s a loaded question. Excluding an array of personal mistakes, I think my biggest blunder was getting the date of my driving test wrong. That was the height of idiotic. I genuinely thought it was on a Wednesday but it turned out to be on Tuesday. I still think the person examining me must have been on something because I am a threat to society behind a wheel.

Describe a situation where you had a disagreement or an argument. How did you handle it?

There are few things I’ve fought as hard for as I did to study Mathematics at university. I was destined to go down the medicine route according to my parents and the rest of my family and normally I just cave to their demands. However I felt very strongly that medicine wasn’t right for me and for the first time I grew some balls and stood my ground. I am not exaggerating when I said numerous dinner discussions, tears and emotional breakdowns followed. This was probably not the best way to handle it but it worked so I don’t regret it.

 

And there you have it. ‘Real’ interview answers!

Over and Out.