Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘lol’

Things I can’t stop saying

  1. YAAASS
  2. SLAYYY
  3. BRO
  4. BAE
  5. Srsly?
  6. Your face 
  7. That’s what she said 

Make me stop. Where am I picking up such bad habits?!

Advertisements

Just Aliya Things 2

So I like to listen to music at work; more specifically I have no filter with regards to what songs I listen to. In fact the more inappropriate the better. I dunno, I just seem to get a kick out it. It may look like I’m building a spreadsheet on the outside but actually I’m having a  private party in my head screaming SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS.  

This occasionally has adverse consequences. For example a few days ago someone approached me at my desk and I hastily took off my headphones but didn’t have time to mute. Unfortunately that was the exact moment Nicki Minaj ‘Only’ started to play. If you’re not familiar with the opening lines, let me enlighten you *ahem*

Yo

I never f*cked Wayne

I never f*cked Drake

All my life man – f*cks sake

If I did I’d ménage with them 

And let them eat my a** like a cupcake

These are some inspired lyrics but probably not something I’d want my colleague to hear. I’m privately optimistic that he’s deaf. 

144. Basically the entire student population right now.

*sweeps away books*

*rips up notes*

*runs out into the sun arms outstretched*

141. Pick up lines so bad they’re good.

T’is Valentines day. Instead of roses or mush or complaining about how unromantic my day will be, I hope the following absurdly awful pick up lines will make you laugh (or cringe) (or both).

Honesty is an admirable quality.

 

I’d take this as a huge compliment.

 

The speech bubble kills me every time.

I genuinely think this is so smooth.

Lol ‘be here in 10 minutes’

Quite possibly my favourite pick up line ever.

This makes the mathematician in me very happy.

My most romantic relationship right now is probably with my wifi <3.

*snort*

The picture of David Tenant is also a very welcome addition.

*giggle*

I’m so easily pleased.

Over and Out!

140. What I tell myself v. What actually happens

What I tell myself: I’ll just have a quick nap. I’ll be so alert and energised afterwards.
What actually happens: Omg it’s tomorrow.

What I tell myself: I’ll start working at 7.30.
What actually happens: Oh look it’s 7.31, better start at 8.00 now.

What I tell myself: Oh god I’m so full- I cannot eat another bite.
What actually happens: Oooh ice cream! I got room for that.

What I tell myself: I’m going to try all of these questions without looking at the answers. The struggle is part of the question.
What actually happens: Fuck it where are those solutions? Ain’t nobody got time fo’ this.

What I tell myself: Omg he’s a douchebag- I’m never speaking to him again.
What actually happens: Hmm it’s been an hour. Maybe I should say sorry.

What I tell myself: I am going to do lots of revision today.
What actually happens: Hole punching my notes and neatly putting them into a folder counts as revision right?

What I tell myself: Ehhh I don’t want to have a bath.
What actually happens: I am a dolphin. I am a mermaid. I’m never leaving this tub.

What I tell myself: I shall read sophisticated books to improve my vocabulary.
What actually happens: Where’s my copy of 50 shades of Grey?

What I tell myself: Now that I’ve bought new kitchen utensils and oven equipment I will become a domestic goddess.
What actually happens: *eats Cornflakes for dinner*

What I tell myself: I need to lose weight- right! Time to do 50 sit ups.
What actually happens: *does 20* Good God, I can’t move.

What I tell myself: Saving a document? I’ll save it as ‘shizzle24’. It is both descriptive and I’ll remember exactly what it is in future.
What actually happens: *in the future* God dammit why do I have 36 files called shizzle.

What I tell myself: I’ll just watch the first episode of this series to decide if I like it.
What actually happens: What do you mean there are no more episodes to watch?! I’ve only watched 3 seasons in 3 days.

What I tell myself: I should really sort out my underarms.
What actually happens: Hmm forgot to do my underarms. I’ll just get through the day avoiding lifting my arms at all cost.

What I tell myself: I’m going to get up 10 minutes earlier so that I don’t have to rush.
What actually happens: Leaves 5 minutes late.

What I tell myself: I’m going to make an effort to look presentable and female.
What actually happens: Unflattering jeans and hoodie it is.

Over and Out!

130. #Blogger Problems

I can’t be the only one.

  1. Spend three hours writing a post. 3 likes. Spend 20 minutes writing a post. 20 likes.
  2. Getting annoyed because the WordPress reader preview ends just before the part where your post gets interesting.
  3. Spend ages writing a post but decide not to publish that day. Re-read the next day and decide it’s crap.
  4. Write what you think is an amazing post only to read one by someone else on the same topic that is miles better than your own.
  5. Write an absolutely fabulous post. 2 likes. Read one on the same topic by someone else that’s not as entertaining as yours. 50 likes.
  6. Spend half an hour writing a post. Spend the next hour on formatting and deciding which images should accompany it.
  7. Write an awesome post but can’t for the life of you come up with a good enough title for it.
  8. Your post was viewed 20 times. No-one liked it.
  9. Asking a question to your readers in your post. No-one replies.
  10. You want to rant about someone but then realise you can’t because they read your blog.
  11. Always getting lots of ideas for posts when you have no time to write and then getting writer’s block when you do finally have time.
  12. Trying to avoid this: ‘Heyy how was the party/internship/cool experience?’ ‘Read my blog’.

Over and Out!

121. This mah jam.

That moment when your favourite song comes on…

So cute! This little lady is gonna be a rave on the dance floor when she gets older!

Over and Out.