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Posts tagged ‘lonely’

55. So it begins

It is that horrible time of year again… exam revision. This has got to be the most depressing, frustrating and lonely part of my degree.


Revision means the end of my social life (which I was trying to fit in as much as possible beforehand). I have this bad habit of really letting myself go when I don’t have to go out. It’s only been a few days and my hair is already greasy, I smell like curry, my face is pasty and I’m sitting here at my desk in my onesie. Please no-one ring the doorbell.

This is also the time I will do ANYTHING to avoid revision such as:

  • cleaning… everything
  • ironing things I never wear
  • organising my computer files
  • reading old emails because I don’t even know why
  • playing Neopets
  • watching re-runs of House
  • helping OTHER people with their revision
  • and my personal favourite…complaining about revision…which is what I’m doing now.

Every year I tell myself, I will makes good revision notes while I’m studying the module and every year I end up making them in April. Such a horrible horrible cycle of not learning from my mistakes. *shakes fist*

To makes things worse, I feel hungry pretty much all the time (I think this some psychological ploy made by my scumbag brain to further avoid revision) so I eat up eating everything so now not only am I not working, I’m also getting fat. Dammit.


It sucks having to sit in my room trying to convince myself to get work done. It’s not like I don’t have any motivation. I desperately want to get a First in every module this year (with the exception of Managerial Economics) but clearly I want to watch cat videos on Youtube more. I am convinced that it doesn’t matter where you start from on Youtube, you WILL eventually end up on baby or cat videos.


Revision is lonely. It’s something you have to do by yourself. To do this, you have to commit to being holed up in your room with only your fan heater and your music for company which is pretty darn sad. The shitty weather here in the UK does nothing to lighten the mood either. My parents, bless them, do so much to make sure I have what I need. They pop in and say hello and bring me tea but they can’t exactly help me when I’m stuck on a proof or if I’ve forgotten how to integrate. Le sigh.

With all this said, so far today I’ve been quite good. I’m on Chapter 5 (of 19) of Credit Scoring and I aim to finish up to Chapter 7. I will let you know how I far I get next time.

Good luck to anyone else who is also revising!

Over and Out!


29. Put your speakers on and get ready to empathise!

It’s the start of February. We all know that means Valentine’s day is around the corner. Now everyone will be having different experiences this year; there will be those who are beautifully, disgustingly in love, those who wish they were and those who think they don’t care. This post caters for the latter two types of people.

I think emotions and music pretty much go hand in hand. Music helps brings out what you feel even if you didn’t know it yourself and I think that’s pretty magical… the fact that you can hear something and it will make you think of a person, a memory or something you were trying to bury. I decided to try and compile a fairly comprehensive list of scenarios and I had great fun ‘researching’ relevant songs associated with them to help you get through The Valentine Blues.

I tried to pick songs from a variety of artists with the hope that you hear something new or something you haven’t heard in a while. So put your speakers on and get ready to empathise!

  • You’re in a relationship. It’s not working. You don’t know why but you’re too tired to hold on any longer.

Ellie Goulding- Hanging On

‘You know we can get away
Because I’m calling your name

I just can’t keep hanging on, to you and me
I just don’t know what is wrong, with you and me’

(Her voice just sounds ethereal in this, particularly in the beginning.)

  • Somebody left you. You’re a mess and they seem absolutely fine. What a !@#$%^.

The Script- Breakeven

‘What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re ok?
I’m falling to pieces, yeah,
I’m falling to pieces’

  • When you’ve been let down or lied to and the best thing to do is say goodbye. Yeah time to leave that !@#$%^.

Lianna la Havas- Gone

‘Love is not blind, it’s just deaf and it is dumb
So how could I fool myself thinking you were the one
How sad, how undignified
Now I found you out
This is my last goodbye’

  • They can’t commit. They keep changing their mind because they don’t know what they want. What a !@#$%^.

Adele- Turning Tables

‘God only knows what we’re fighting for
All that I say, you always say more
I can’t keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can’t breathe
So, I won’t let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won’t rescue you to just desert me
I can’t give you the heart you think you gave me
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables’

(It’s not possible to talk breakup music without mentioning Adele)

  • That one person is just always on your mind and you can’t shake it. Seriously annoying.

Lemar- It’s Not That Easy

‘Girl I’ve tried and tried a million times
To get you off my mind
It’s not that easy
It’s not that easy
Don’t you know how hard it is for me
To smile and say goodbye
It’s not that easy
It’s not that easy’

  • When a relationship is over and they’re acting like it meant nothing to them. What a !@#$%^.

Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know

‘But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know’

(This is a radio edit of the song that I like a lot more than the original. Got a bit of extra kick to it.)

  • When you’ve had enough of this crap and decide you don’t need anyone but yourself. ALL THE LADIES IF YOU FEEL ME, HELP ME SING IT OUTTT (if you’ve heard the song before, you’ll understand)

Beyonce- Me, Myself & I

‘Cuz I realized I got me, myself and I
That’s all I got in the end
That’s what I found out
And it ain’t no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I’m gonna be my own best friend’

(I just had to share the live version of this song because my god Bey can SANG (it’s not a typo)! She turns this sad song into an anthem! Absolutely kills it from 1:45 onwards)

It was so hard whittling down to just seven songs but I figured 50 songs was probably overkill so there you have it.

If you’re actually beautifully, disgustingly in love, then have no fear my next post will be songs just for youu!

Over and Out!