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Posts tagged ‘love’

5 books that will give you all the feels

In case you don’t know, I read. A lot. And I am one of those people that actually enjoy reading books about pain and heartache and loss because I am a masochist but also because I think it helps put my own life, and my own struggles into perspective.

So without further ado, there is my top 5 list of books that will give you ALL the feels. Keep some tissues handy.

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

I cannot rave about this book enough. I love it to death. I think it might be my favourite book of all time.

It’s short and bitter and about two teens who sit next to each other on the school bus and fall in love. The reason I think it’s special is because it reminds me of how exaggerated everything feels at that age; how amazing the good things feel and how utterly devastating the bad things feel. It makes you remember all of your firsts; the first time someone looked at you and really ‘saw’ you, the first time someone held your hand, the first time someone kissed you and you felt it right down to your toes.

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Memorable lines:

“Holding Eleanor’s hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive.”

“The me that’s me right now is yours. Always.”

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

In my opinion, this book is worth the hype. Why? Because John Green managed to write a book about two teenagers who have cancer and he made the cancer feel secondary; an intimidating obstacle for sure, but always second to them, and to their friendship. Augustus Waters breathed life into Hazel and it was so so beautiful to read. I will never hear the word ‘okay’ in the same way again.

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Memorable lines:

“Some people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,” I said.

“Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.”

“But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.”

It ends with Us by Coleen Hoover

Coleen Hoover is a Wonder Woman. I don’t think she has it in her to write a bad book but this one in particular, really got to me. It is about a woman who has experienced domestic violence in her childhood home and hated her mother for ‘allowing’ it. Fast forward a few years and she is the same position. It shows you just how easily these sorts of situations can develop and how, even if you’re strong, your limits can be eroded. What you might have thought was unacceptable a year ago can become palatable.

I loved this because it never felt simple and that is what made it real. Could you leave someone who was the best thing to every happen to you 99% of the time but also the worst 1% of the time?

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Memorable line:

“Preventing your heart from forgiving someone you love is actually a hell of a lot harder than simply forgiving them.”

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

This book killed me. It was like a burning dagger to my heart that turned me into a bawling mess crying into my blanket at 1am. And that’s saying something because I have never ever wept whilst reading before.

Theodore Finch isn’t like other people. In fact he isn’t like anyone else at all. He is apologetically himself  but he seems to feel everything. His mind races at 100mph and he is constantly struggling to keep up with his own thoughts to the point where it is overwhelming. From the first page you know that he wants to die, and he’s about to do it when he realises that Violet is also standing on the belltower for the same reason. For someone so set on dying, it hit me right in the feels that he was able to talk her down.

In the months that follow, Theo still wants to die but Violet gives him a reason every day not to. In return he loves her fiercely.

I usually shy away from books like these because I think some authors try too hard to evoke emotions but I thought this was different. The ending felt both inevitable and surprising. Both beautiful and tragic. Both necessary and pointless.

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Memorable line:

“You have been in every way all that anyone could be.… If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.”

The above is actually an extract from Virginia Woolf’s suicide note which is one of the most bittersweet things I have ever read.

If I stay by Gayle Foreman

The premise of this story is deceptively simple; Mia loses her entire family in a car crash and she is hanging on by a thread in intensive care. She has one choice to make; should she follow her family or should she stay?

This is not one of those books which is like oh love conquers all, she has her grandparents and her friends and her boyfriend, of course she’ll stay. It is messy and it is honest and it is vulnerable. I really appreciated that it was not clear cut. The snippets of her life as she knew it versus her life in real time were interwoven so compellingly that it made Mia and her choice feel real.

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Memorable passage:

“It’s okay,’ he tells me. ‘If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.’ His voice cracks with emotion. He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. ‘But that’s what I want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It’s okay if you have to leave us. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting.’

Okay who is cutting onions god dammit?!

Over and Out!

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Hello boys.

So I joined Minder – for those that don’t know what this is – it’s “Muslim Tinder”. Quite frankly that sounds like a paradox but I thought what the heck. Just like Tinder you take a peep at someone’s pics and bio and if they sound aight you swipe right. Otherwise you swipe left. If the other person also swipes right for you, then you can start a conversation. So that’s the mechanics… here’s what I have observed from my experience so far:

  • Is it Mind-er or Min-der? And if it’s Mind-er, that doesn’t rhyme with Tinder. This frustrates me.
  • Literally every guy says he goes to the gym and loves to travel… like every single one.
  • 90% of these guys say they are 6 foot or taller. Now I dunno if I’ve clicked something saying I only want tall guys (if I have, I desperately want to untick it) but surely everyone can’t be this tall.
  • I am such a bitch. I swipe left so much. I am a terrible human being.
  • I’ve got a type. The app stores the people you’ve had conversations with and if you put all my guy’s pictures together, they’re practically the same person. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so funny – but hey at least I know what I’m attracted to? Beards and swishy hair? God I am letting the female race down.
  • Things that will instantly make me swipe left: shirtless pictures, pictures of guys at the gym, shameless pictures of muscles, guys wearing really unbuttoned or low cut shirts, guys with earrings, guys doing shisha, guys wearing their trousers too low, guys taking pictures in bed
  • Okay not all of the muscle is bad. Some of these guys have nice arms.
  • Conversations are weird. I dunno what’s wrong with me – when I engage it’s like I’m actively trying to make them run away just to see who will stick around. Sarcasm abounds. One person said I had a “cute, nerdy look” and I said “is that a compliment or a veiled insult?”. I think he got scared.
  • Just because someone looks innocent does not mean they are innocent. One supposedly friendly looking guy asked for my thoughts on buttsex within the first 5 minutes. That promptly ended that conversation.
  • In case there was any doubt, guys are super interested in sex. Like I get it, it’s important, but there is MORE TO EXPLORE. I can’t even post some of the stuff I’ve been on the receiving end over the last few weeks but here’s a sample:
    • “If you were my wife, you wouldn’t be able to walk”
    • “Do you like choking?”
    • “Have you heard of Mia Khalifa?” <- If you don’t know who she is, for the love of god don’t Google her.
    • “I’m trying to imagine what kind of roleplay you’d be into”

THIS IS NOT OKAY. At all.

Over and Out!

 

 

How Not To Flirt

So the guy I like asked me what I thought of his face. I could have said anything; I could have said that he has a very nice face, (what looks like) smooth skin and that he has a cheeky grin. 

So many flattering comments I could have made…

Instead I said “if I squint and tilt my head and the lighting is just right, your face looks mildly okay”. 

He replied “I hate you”. 

I don’t know whether I deserve a round of applause or a slap. 

166. I love complicated

A movie called Kill Your Darlings was recently brought to my attention; it’s about some poets breaking free of literary tradition. Not the kind of film I usually go for. I would have probably passed it by had it not starred Daniel Radcliffe. I watched the trailer and then it suddenly became glaringly obviously why Drarry fans everywhere were jumping up and down with excitement.

Dane Dehaan (you may know him as Harry Osbourne from ‘The Amazing Spiderman’) plays Lucien Carr, a blonde guy with bright blue eyes. I wouldn’t describe him as traditionally handsome but the character is magnetic and vulnerable in a way that makes everyone fall in love with him. He is basically the Draco Malfoy described in fandom. The fact that his name in the movie is Lucien which sounds so much like Lucius is not lost on me either.

He is perfect in this movie. He is addictive and challenging and open and closed all at once. ‘I knew you were trouble when you walked in’ should be his anthem.

And he has so much chemistry with Daniel Radcliffe. There are some incredibly tender moments, uncomfortable moments (one scene in particular has scarred me for life) and some scenes that had me reaching for ice water. Yes I’m talking about eye sex in the library. Hot damn.

So thank you Dane Dehaan for making my inner fangirl’s dreams come true!

This gif is very distracting.

Over and Out!

164. The Real Gossip

Do you remember how ages ago I was lamenting over the fact that I didn’t have any feelings for anyone and how rare and weird that felt.

Yeh… that’s changed. In a way I’m kinda surprised; I honestly thought I had become apathetic to the notion and that I was just DONE. Given up. Too tired to try again with anyone.

I put up a ten foot fortified emotional wall and then this wonderful idiot just came along and politely knocked on a door I didn’t know existed and strolled right in. If this wall existed in reality, I would be suing for damages right now.

To make matter worse, this person is someone who is a) not even available b) lacks all awareness of my faith and culture c) would not be approved by my family and d) is just straight up not right for me.

Do I know this? Yes.

Does it change the way I feel? No.

Whyyyyyyyyy? Why am I so stupid?

I had an inkling from the start that this might happen because we share the same sense of humour and he is impossibly curious and random and soaks up stuff like a sponge. But I honestly thought I had things under wraps; we’ll be good friends and everything will be fine. I’m a grown woman; I can control myself right? Naivety at its finest.

I didn’t realise what had happened until it was too late. I just remember watching him interact openly with a female colleague, in a way that he never has with me, and just feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself stomping out of the place that I realised I was jealous. And when I was halfway home and he asked me to come back, I said no because my silly feelings were hurt.

I can feel myself acting more and more like a fool e.g. wanting to know what he thinks about everything ever because I like his brain and I like his face and just him in general.

It is so annoying being able to acknowledge that yet being powerless to change it. The butterflies are nice though.

I’ll keep you guys posted about how this inevitable train crash progresses.

Over and Out!

154. Mr Grey Will See You Now.

I’m sorry I’ve got to talk about it. Today the full trailer for the 50 Shades of Grey movie was released and well… there’s a lot to say. Viewer discretion advised. Blah blah. 

First of all. Release date. Valentine’s Day. Who decided that would be appropriate? The first book in the series is not exactly romantic. And I can’t imagine going to see it as a couple. Both parties would come out feeling hot and bothered, the lady probably fan-girling and the man feeling inadequate. 

The trailer revolves around the first meeting between shy student Anastasia Steele and CEO/ kinky sex god/ gazillionaire Christian Grey. We see his office, the infamous elevator kiss (what is about elevators?!), Charlie Tango the helicopter, brooding Christian playing the piano and Christian the Dom in those jeans. Meanwhile Ana spends most of the trailer breathing heavily, staring at Christian and asking him to ‘enlighten her’. Pretty faithful to the books.

As for the actors. There was so much fuss around who should play Christian Grey. Fan favourites were Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder but in the end they went with Calvin Klein model Jamie Dornan. Everyone envisions Christian Grey to their own tastes but personally I have no qualms about Dornan in the looks department. The man is hella distracting in a very very good way. I wish they kept his beard in the film.

Dat hair. Dat beard. Dat face. Dat jawline.

However Christian’s appeal is in his domineering attitude and the fact that he knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.  I wasn’t seeing this quality in the trailer but who knows? I also felt like the sound of his voice wasn’t ‘hot’ enough. 

Prior to the trailer I wasn’t convinced that Dakota Johnson was right as Ana mainly because I’d envisioned Alexis Bledel. However I think her portrayal of a quiet, innocent girl who was overwhelmed by Christian and afraid of how he made her feel hit the mark.

The secondary characters basically got zero screen time though we do catch a glimpse of Taylor and the Grey family. However Ana’s best friend Kate and the infamous Mrs Robinson are notably absent.

Overall I’d say I was mildly impressed but mainly because I had such low expectations. I’m not sure how the more graphic scenes are going to play out or if it’s even possible to do them tastefully. How far are they going to go? I hope they leave a little to the imagination because I really don’t want to see everythang.

Except in my mind’s eye. That’s okay.

Over and Out! Laters baby!

151. The End of an Era

It been a few weeks since I finished uni for good, finished my full time education for good. Last year I wasn’t ready to leave. This year I am. I have loved Imperial College London. I have never been worked so hard, never had my brain fried so thoroughly, never taken such terrifying exams. At the same time, I have never been so proud of what I’ve achieved or learnt so much so quickly or loved the people around me so fiercely. These four years have been really special.

Despite still living at home, I have experienced independence in a way I had previously not known. My oyster card has been my gateway to London, with which I have mastered the underground. I could sleepwalk my way to Gloucester Road; in fact I probably have…9am lectures are rough.

Anyway I don’t want to gush. The pictures say it better than I could ever describe. *gets out tissues*

 

 

I made a video montage with many more pics which can be viewed here, if you wish to experience the full journey.

Over and Out!