So I joined Minder – for those that don’t know what this is – it’s “Muslim Tinder”. Quite frankly that sounds like a paradox but I thought what the heck. Just like Tinder you take a peep at someone’s pics and bio and if they sound aight you swipe right. Otherwise you swipe left. If the other person also swipes right for you, then you can start a conversation. So that’s the mechanics… here’s what I have observed from my experience so far:
- Is it Mind-er or Min-der? And if it’s Mind-er, that doesn’t rhyme with Tinder. This frustrates me.
- Literally every guy says he goes to the gym and loves to travel… like every single one.
- 90% of these guys say they are 6 foot or taller. Now I dunno if I’ve clicked something saying I only want tall guys (if I have, I desperately want to untick it) but surely everyone can’t be this tall.
- I am such a bitch. I swipe left so much. I am a terrible human being.
- I’ve got a type. The app stores the people you’ve had conversations with and if you put all my guy’s pictures together, they’re practically the same person. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so funny – but hey at least I know what I’m attracted to? Beards and swishy hair? God I am letting the female race down.
- Things that will instantly make me swipe left: shirtless pictures, pictures of guys at the gym, shameless pictures of muscles, guys wearing really unbuttoned or low cut shirts, guys with earrings, guys doing shisha, guys wearing their trousers too low, guys taking pictures in bed
- Okay not all of the muscle is bad. Some of these guys have nice arms.
- Conversations are weird. I dunno what’s wrong with me – when I engage it’s like I’m actively trying to make them run away just to see who will stick around. Sarcasm abounds. One person said I had a “cute, nerdy look” and I said “is that a compliment or a veiled insult?”. I think he got scared.
- Just because someone looks innocent does not mean they are innocent. One supposedly friendly looking guy asked for my thoughts on buttsex within the first 5 minutes. That promptly ended that conversation.
- In case there was any doubt, guys are super interested in sex. Like I get it, it’s important, but there is MORE TO EXPLORE. I can’t even post some of the stuff I’ve been on the receiving end over the last few weeks but here’s a sample:
- “If you were my wife, you wouldn’t be able to walk”
- “Do you like choking?”
- “Have you heard of Mia Khalifa?” <- If you don’t know who she is, for the love of god don’t Google her.
- “I’m trying to imagine what kind of roleplay you’d be into”
THIS IS NOT OKAY. At all.
Over and Out!
So the guy I like asked me what I thought of his face. I could have said anything; I could have said that he has a very nice face, (what looks like) smooth skin and that he has a cheeky grin.
So many flattering comments I could have made…
Instead I said “if I squint and tilt my head and the lighting is just right, your face looks mildly okay”.
He replied “I hate you”.
I don’t know whether I deserve a round of applause or a slap.
A movie called Kill Your Darlings was recently brought to my attention; it’s about some poets breaking free of literary tradition. Not the kind of film I usually go for. I would have probably passed it by had it not starred Daniel Radcliffe. I watched the trailer and then it suddenly became glaringly obviously why Drarry fans everywhere were jumping up and down with excitement.
Dane Dehaan (you may know him as Harry Osbourne from ‘The Amazing Spiderman’) plays Lucien Carr, a blonde guy with bright blue eyes. I wouldn’t describe him as traditionally handsome but the character is magnetic and vulnerable in a way that makes everyone fall in love with him. He is basically the Draco Malfoy described in fandom. The fact that his name in the movie is Lucien which sounds so much like Lucius is not lost on me either.
He is perfect in this movie. He is addictive and challenging and open and closed all at once. ‘I knew you were trouble when you walked in’ should be his anthem.
And he has so much chemistry with Daniel Radcliffe. There are some incredibly tender moments, uncomfortable moments (one scene in particular has scarred me for life) and some scenes that had me reaching for ice water. Yes I’m talking about eye sex in the library. Hot damn.
So thank you Dane Dehaan for making my inner fangirl’s dreams come true!
This gif is very distracting.
Over and Out!
Do you remember how ages ago I was lamenting over the fact that I didn’t have any feelings for anyone and how rare and weird that felt.
Yeh… that’s changed. In a way I’m kinda surprised; I honestly thought I had become apathetic to the notion and that I was just DONE. Given up. Too tired to try again with anyone.
I put up a ten foot fortified emotional wall and then this wonderful idiot just came along and politely knocked on a door I didn’t know existed and strolled right in. If this wall existed in reality, I would be suing for damages right now.
To make matter worse, this person is someone who is a) not even available b) lacks all awareness of my faith and culture c) would not be approved by my family and d) is just straight up not right for me.
Do I know this? Yes.
Does it change the way I feel? No.
Whyyyyyyyyy? Why am I so stupid?
I had an inkling from the start that this might happen because we share the same sense of humour and he is impossibly curious and random and soaks up stuff like a sponge. But I honestly thought I had things under wraps; we’ll be good friends and everything will be fine. I’m a grown woman; I can control myself right? Naivety at its finest.
I didn’t realise what had happened until it was too late. I just remember watching him interact openly with a female colleague, in a way that he never has with me, and just feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself stomping out of the place that I realised I was jealous. And when I was halfway home and he asked me to come back, I said no because my silly feelings were hurt.
I can feel myself acting more and more like a fool e.g. wanting to know what he thinks about everything ever because I like his brain and I like his face and just him in general.
It is so annoying being able to acknowledge that yet being powerless to change it. The butterflies are nice though.
I’ll keep you guys posted about how this inevitable train crash progresses.
Over and Out!
I’m sorry I’ve got to talk about it. Today the full trailer for the 50 Shades of Grey movie was released and well… there’s a lot to say. Viewer discretion advised. Blah blah.
First of all. Release date. Valentine’s Day. Who decided that would be appropriate? The first book in the series is not exactly romantic. And I can’t imagine going to see it as a couple. Both parties would come out feeling hot and bothered, the lady probably fan-girling and the man feeling inadequate.
The trailer revolves around the first meeting between shy student Anastasia Steele and CEO/ kinky sex god/ gazillionaire Christian Grey. We see his office, the infamous elevator kiss (what is about elevators?!), Charlie Tango the helicopter, brooding Christian playing the piano and Christian the Dom in those jeans. Meanwhile Ana spends most of the trailer breathing heavily, staring at Christian and asking him to ‘enlighten her’. Pretty faithful to the books.
As for the actors. There was so much fuss around who should play Christian Grey. Fan favourites were Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder but in the end they went with Calvin Klein model Jamie Dornan. Everyone envisions Christian Grey to their own tastes but personally I have no qualms about Dornan in the looks department. The man is hella distracting in a very very good way. I wish they kept his beard in the film.
Dat hair. Dat beard. Dat face. Dat jawline.
However Christian’s appeal is in his domineering attitude and the fact that he knows exactly what he wants and how to get it. I wasn’t seeing this quality in the trailer but who knows? I also felt like the sound of his voice wasn’t ‘hot’ enough.
Prior to the trailer I wasn’t convinced that Dakota Johnson was right as Ana mainly because I’d envisioned Alexis Bledel. However I think her portrayal of a quiet, innocent girl who was overwhelmed by Christian and afraid of how he made her feel hit the mark.
The secondary characters basically got zero screen time though we do catch a glimpse of Taylor and the Grey family. However Ana’s best friend Kate and the infamous Mrs Robinson are notably absent.
Overall I’d say I was mildly impressed but mainly because I had such low expectations. I’m not sure how the more graphic scenes are going to play out or if it’s even possible to do them tastefully. How far are they going to go? I hope they leave a little to the imagination because I really don’t want to see everythang.
Except in my mind’s eye. That’s okay.
Over and Out! Laters baby!
It been a few weeks since I finished uni for good, finished my full time education for good. Last year I wasn’t ready to leave. This year I am. I have loved Imperial College London. I have never been worked so hard, never had my brain fried so thoroughly, never taken such terrifying exams. At the same time, I have never been so proud of what I’ve achieved or learnt so much so quickly or loved the people around me so fiercely. These four years have been really special.
Despite still living at home, I have experienced independence in a way I had previously not known. My oyster card has been my gateway to London, with which I have mastered the underground. I could sleepwalk my way to Gloucester Road; in fact I probably have…9am lectures are rough.
Anyway I don’t want to gush. The pictures say it better than I could ever describe. *gets out tissues*
The Maths Party during Freshers week
My birthday…I got two cakes.
Went to an event called Shaam held by Pak Soc
At Sussanah’s house
At the Harry Potter Studios
On Queen’s Lawn. Dat pout tho.
After our last exam when we felt (and looked) like crap
Me and James seem to synchronise a lot
Handing in my final year project
I made a video montage with many more pics which can be viewed here, if you wish to experience the full journey.
Over and Out!
T’is Valentines day. Instead of roses or mush or complaining about how unromantic my day will be, I hope the following absurdly awful pick up lines will make you laugh (or cringe) (or both).
Honesty is an admirable quality.
I’d take this as a huge compliment.
The speech bubble kills me every time.
I genuinely think this is so smooth.
Lol ‘be here in 10 minutes’
Quite possibly my favourite pick up line ever.
This makes the mathematician in me very happy.
My most romantic relationship right now is probably with my wifi <3.
The picture of David Tenant is also a very welcome addition.
I’m so easily pleased.
Over and Out!