Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘nap’

140. What I tell myself v. What actually happens

What I tell myself: I’ll just have a quick nap. I’ll be so alert and energised afterwards.
What actually happens: Omg it’s tomorrow.

What I tell myself: I’ll start working at 7.30.
What actually happens: Oh look it’s 7.31, better start at 8.00 now.

What I tell myself: Oh god I’m so full- I cannot eat another bite.
What actually happens: Oooh ice cream! I got room for that.

What I tell myself: I’m going to try all of these questions without looking at the answers. The struggle is part of the question.
What actually happens: Fuck it where are those solutions? Ain’t nobody got time fo’ this.

What I tell myself: Omg he’s a douchebag- I’m never speaking to him again.
What actually happens: Hmm it’s been an hour. Maybe I should say sorry.

What I tell myself: I am going to do lots of revision today.
What actually happens: Hole punching my notes and neatly putting them into a folder counts as revision right?

What I tell myself: Ehhh I don’t want to have a bath.
What actually happens: I am a dolphin. I am a mermaid. I’m never leaving this tub.

What I tell myself: I shall read sophisticated books to improve my vocabulary.
What actually happens: Where’s my copy of 50 shades of Grey?

What I tell myself: Now that I’ve bought new kitchen utensils and oven equipment I will become a domestic goddess.
What actually happens: *eats Cornflakes for dinner*

What I tell myself: I need to lose weight- right! Time to do 50 sit ups.
What actually happens: *does 20* Good God, I can’t move.

What I tell myself: Saving a document? I’ll save it as ‘shizzle24’. It is both descriptive and I’ll remember exactly what it is in future.
What actually happens: *in the future* God dammit why do I have 36 files called shizzle.

What I tell myself: I’ll just watch the first episode of this series to decide if I like it.
What actually happens: What do you mean there are no more episodes to watch?! I’ve only watched 3 seasons in 3 days.

What I tell myself: I should really sort out my underarms.
What actually happens: Hmm forgot to do my underarms. I’ll just get through the day avoiding lifting my arms at all cost.

What I tell myself: I’m going to get up 10 minutes earlier so that I don’t have to rush.
What actually happens: Leaves 5 minutes late.

What I tell myself: I’m going to make an effort to look presentable and female.
What actually happens: Unflattering jeans and hoodie it is.

Over and Out!