Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘problems’

134. Emotionally Single

Literally me from the age of 14 to 20. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But there is something about talking to your crush that is both exciting and frustrating; it’s a mix between the anxiety from over analysing everything they’re saying (oh my god they said ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’… success!) and joy that they’re even responding.

Yes I am that psychotic girl who hides behind her keyboard. I am like 500 million times funnier and more interesting online because I feel #like a boss and fear nothing. In person in any kind of vaguely non-platonic situation I’m either silent or chatting absolute bollocks. I am fail.

This video got me thinking though…I haven’t had a crush on anyone non-fictional/ non celebrity for a while now… and it’s a bit a rarity for me (I don’t crush on loads of people, just a few people but for extended periods of time). It feels weird.

I’m not thinking about anyone else. I’m not wondering what they’re doing. I’m making even less of an effort when it comes to what I look like (didn’t think it was possible). That last one’s quite bad. I shouldn’t have to fancy someone to put in some time to distinguish myself as a woman.

What all this does means however is that I now have a lot more free time (good thing too because I have so much damn work). Who knew pining was so time consuming?

Secretly though, I think I miss it. Sure it was emotionally draining and it felt like my hormones were flying all over the place but something small like my crush starting a conversation could make my day and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now something really special has to happen to make my day. Even academic success doesn’t cut it anymore.

The worst thing about all of this is the timing. This is not the optimum time to be emotionally single especially when my mother is saying things like ‘you need to find a man’ as if I can just order one I like online. It is not easy and I don’t have time to get my flirt on. I’m not even sure I remember how to get my flirt on.

Ehhh I feel like a younger, brown version of Bridget Jones.

Over and Out!


3. Facebook Passwords

Why do people share Facebook passwords. This has bothered me for a while. In my experience, nothing good has ever come out of it. Ever. 

Why do people do it? People seem to think that sharing FB passwords is some sacred act of trust. I prefer to call it a voluntary invasion of privacy. Just because I don’t want you going through my messages or newsfeed doesn’t mean I have anything to hide. I just don’t want people knowing about every miniscule part of my life.

How do people even ask for it? Personally I’d find asking for someone’s password completely inappropriate. However let’s say somebody does ask. They’re looking at you with their puppy dog eyes, they’re reminding you that they’re your bestest friend ever/ boyfriend/ girlfriend and honestly they probably won’t ever look at it. SURE! If you’re not going to look, why are you guilt tripping me?

It gets worse though when they give you their password. I don’t want that knowledge. I fully acknowledge that I’m too curious for my own good and you’re just handing me ammunition. Several people have given me their passwords. Every time I make sure that they change it. I’m touched that they trust me. Unfortunately I don’t trust myself.
And then there’s that expectation…I’ve given you my password… You should really give me yours. NO.

So what goes wrong? How about everything. For a site that is supposed to ‘bring people together’, it sure breaks a lot of people apart.

  1. Eurgh, why are you talking to her/ him?! I hate them and you’re my friend so you can’t talk to them either.
  2. Oh my god, you’ve said such bad things about me to so and so after we had that fight.
  3. Why are you flirting with them? Your MY boyfriend/girlfriend. I no longer trust you. I will censor all your messages from now on. You cannot go anywhere without me by your side. I will be jealous and mistrusting of your companions of the opposite sex.
  4. Why were you on my account pretending to be me? I don’t remember having all these conversations.
  5. Oh my god, you changed my privacy settings. Now my family will see what I’m really like and judge me.And my personal favourite…

People use the finding of ‘evidence’ as justification of FB password sharing. All I will say is, if someone wants to say bad things about you, they will find a way to do it. FB is not the only medium for chatting. People can verbally say things, instant message, whatsapp or go old school and sent horrible notes. Now unless you want to go all Big Brother on everyone, you cannot control this. Take comfort in the fact that if someone is a bitch, then so is karma.

Over and Out.