Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘relationship’

141. Pick up lines so bad they’re good.

T’is Valentines day. Instead of roses or mush or complaining about how unromantic my day will be, I hope the following absurdly awful pick up lines will make you laugh (or cringe) (or both).

Honesty is an admirable quality.

 

I’d take this as a huge compliment.

 

The speech bubble kills me every time.

I genuinely think this is so smooth.

Lol ‘be here in 10 minutes’

Quite possibly my favourite pick up line ever.

This makes the mathematician in me very happy.

My most romantic relationship right now is probably with my wifi <3.

*snort*

The picture of David Tenant is also a very welcome addition.

*giggle*

I’m so easily pleased.

Over and Out!

134. Emotionally Single

Literally me from the age of 14 to 20. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But there is something about talking to your crush that is both exciting and frustrating; it’s a mix between the anxiety from over analysing everything they’re saying (oh my god they said ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’… success!) and joy that they’re even responding.

Yes I am that psychotic girl who hides behind her keyboard. I am like 500 million times funnier and more interesting online because I feel #like a boss and fear nothing. In person in any kind of vaguely non-platonic situation I’m either silent or chatting absolute bollocks. I am fail.

This video got me thinking though…I haven’t had a crush on anyone non-fictional/ non celebrity for a while now… and it’s a bit a rarity for me (I don’t crush on loads of people, just a few people but for extended periods of time). It feels weird.

I’m not thinking about anyone else. I’m not wondering what they’re doing. I’m making even less of an effort when it comes to what I look like (didn’t think it was possible). That last one’s quite bad. I shouldn’t have to fancy someone to put in some time to distinguish myself as a woman.

What all this does means however is that I now have a lot more free time (good thing too because I have so much damn work). Who knew pining was so time consuming?

Secretly though, I think I miss it. Sure it was emotionally draining and it felt like my hormones were flying all over the place but something small like my crush starting a conversation could make my day and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now something really special has to happen to make my day. Even academic success doesn’t cut it anymore.

The worst thing about all of this is the timing. This is not the optimum time to be emotionally single especially when my mother is saying things like ‘you need to find a man’ as if I can just order one I like online. It is not easy and I don’t have time to get my flirt on. I’m not even sure I remember how to get my flirt on.

Ehhh I feel like a younger, brown version of Bridget Jones.

Over and Out!

125. I hate it when someone asks you for advice and then they get angry because you were honest with them

I don’t get it- do you want my advice or do you just want me to agree with whatever you say? Like let me know- I can start neck exercises in preparation for all the nodding if that’s what you want. I thought it was in the friend job description to look out for your best interests and help you overcome your hurdles, even if one of those hurdles is you getting in your own way.

When my friend asked me if I recommended he study Mathematics at uni, I told him I thought he’d find it difficult and I suggested other subjects that were numerate but not quite so intense.  I think it was a fair comment because I know what a Maths degree entails having lived through three years of it already and I took care to tell him this kindly. However all he heard me saying was ‘no’ and accused me of not being supportive and preventing him from reaching his goals.

My opinion that Maths isn’t right for him ≠ My opinion that no subject is right for him

Why do people interpret things so negatively?

Surely I don’t deserve his anger for thinking there is a better alternative out there for him?

I don’t get it.

Over and Out.

89. Every time my mum goes to Mothercare…

She comes back like: WHY DON’T YOU HAVE CHILDREN ALREADY! I saw this beautiful baby dress that had lace and sequins on it and it was so cute and it had matching socks and a hairband AND I WANTED TO BUY IT AND THE PUSHCHAIR (it was half price!) AND ONE OF THOSE THINGS BABIES CAN BOUNCE AROUND IN but I couldn’t buy them because you’re too big now and I don’t have any grandchildren. THIS IS YOUR FAULT ALIYA. GOD, HURRY UP.

And I’m just standing there like…

What just happened?

*fart*

I mean I could make it happen if you really want. Let me know Ma. Like I don’t mind looking after a burping, pooping, fart machine for the rest of my life just so you can buy clothes.

(I do want kids, honest. Just you know…later. Like… later later.)

Over and Out!

 

83. I can’t do it for me but I’ll do it for you.

You ever find that you can do things for other people but that you can’t do them for yourself? Why does that happen?!

Let me give you some examples.

Being brave

I am scared of the dark. I know. I’m a wuss. There’s something about the thought of what’s lurking in the shadows that just creeps me out. However if I’m with anyone else, particularly younger cousins, I’m fearless and constantly reassuring them that there’s nothing to be scared of. Why can’t I do that when I’m alone?

Epiphanies

I could be tackling something (like Maths problem for example) and get horribly stuck. If I’ve tried and failed a few times, I’ll eventually give up. However if someone else asks me for help on the same problem, I will persevere until I find the answer. This happened to me this morning with regards to a question about Statistical modelling. I’d never have bothered to take the time to actually think it through unless my friend asked for help. I think it’s because I hate letting other people down and that forces my brain to get into gear. Disappointing myself is fine though clearly -_-

Forgiving

I can forgive my friends for almost anything. Over the years, I think I’ve let some big stuff slide but I’m not that easy on myself. If I feel like I’ve screwed up, I’m the first one to berate myself and the last one to stop.

Cooking

I am a lazy shite. I’d happily live on Rice Krispies and omelette because I seriously can’t be bothered to cook for myself. As soon as someone else needs to eat though, I’ll take the time to actually make something that contributes to their 5 a day and make some rotis. Shock. Horror. It’ll even taste nice.

Over and Out!

 

57. Expressing your anger

My dad isn’t speaking to my mum right now (don’t worry- this isn’t a sob story). Every now and again, my mum makes a comment perhaps a little sharper than she intended and my dad will take it personally. Today for example, my dad came home from work feeling chatty for some reason but my mum wasn’t in the mood to talk because she had just finished working with some really noisy kids. Dad took it badly.

When my dad gets offended, he gets all huffy and speaks minimally to the person he’s angry with. He also wears a very grumpy expression. The longest I’ve seen it last is about 5 days. As long as you’re not the person he’s peeved at, it’s actually quite funny because usually my dad is super mature but when he’s like this, he acts like a stubborn child. Say he’s angry at my mum and she offers him water, he’ll say no. If I offer him water however, he’ll say yes. Petty, I know.

Then you have my mother. Sometimes really tiny things set her off and when my mum gets angry, she unleashes her inner scary (and screechy) demon. She will rant and rave and won’t censor a damn thing. If she’s really pissed, she’ll revert to Punjabi and start swearing. That’s when you know the shit just got real.

What I find interesting is that I am a real mix of my parents. I have never shouted at anyone in anger in my life (though sometimes I wish I did) but nor do I simmer in silence. I have a habit of  giving the silent treatment and once I’ve calmed down a bit, I write down my angry feelings and give it to them. I realise this makes me sound like a nutcase but that’s just how I roll. I have always had great difficult verbally speaking about serious things. In essence, I write the things I can’t say.

In my memory, the only time I’ve lost it was when I was 8 years old and slapped a boy. He repeatedly kept throwing mud at me and the teachers told me to ignore him but that didn’t work so I complained to my mum and she said to hit him- so I did. The thing is I burst into tears straight afterwards because I felt so bad. (I slapped him well and proper though; even several hours later you could see my hand print on his face. My bad.)

What are you guys like when you’re angry? And what’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the heat of the moment?

(I don’t usually do this whole ask people questions thing. I’m kind of trying it out. Please don’t leave me hanging.)

Over and Out!

43. JK’s Party

After waiting for 2 and half hours, I finally made it to my friend’s party yesterday. It was quite a big do- a good 100 people were there. It was a 21st party but it felt like a wedding! Is it a Sri Lankan thing to hold big events? I’ve been to several Sri Lankan do’s now and it feels like they all hire the same decorators and cake makers. This is not a complaint by any means, merely an observation.

jk1

Check out the sari!

 

When I say she’s my friend, I actually mean she’s one of my oldest and closest friends. I met her on the school coach when I was 11 years old and we’ve been friends ever since. She went through all of secondary school with me which is probably the most influential time of your life in terms of building your personality. So in essence, she’s seen me become ‘me’ and I’ve seen her become ‘her’. Other friends have come and gone but she’s always been there. I don’t see her often but we chat nearly every week on the phone for ages and catch up on life.

jk2

I didn’t realise we’d be matching so much!

After all that soppiness, I have to add that she also drives me mad! She holds long-lasting grudges, is massively indecisive and always late. But hey, I still love her. Nobody’s perfect and I’m sure I piss her off sometimes too.

jk4

Probably sums up our friendship 😛

Over and Out!

 

41. Second choice, second best

This post might seem a bit erratic in contrast to the tone of my other posts but I’m just feeling pensive today.  Bear with me. I heard about a difficult situation someone was in and it made me wonder how I would feel in their shoes.

To give you some context:

Imagine you applied to a job you really wanted. You thought it was exactly what you needed and you really felt like you had a place there. You go to the interview and perform well. They are impressed by your calibre and like your enthusiasm but unfortunately someone just pipped you and they don’t have enough space for you. Those words sound pretty hollow given the end outcome. But what if they got back to you? What if they said the person that pipped you is out of the picture and well…you’re next in line. Say you knew the other person wasn’t coming back. Would you take the job?

I think most people would- I would anyway- simply because of how much I wanted it initially. I’d take the first rejection on the chin.

But what if this wasn’t for a job? What if this was a relationship and it all revolved around someone you really cared about? Would you make the same decision?

It doesn’t feel straightforward anymore. When it comes to affairs of the heart, pride is a bitter pill to swallow. The rationale of this being everything you wanted plays second fiddle to the disappointment of being second choice, second best.

There’s something attractive about the idea of pushing someone away and hurting them right back, regardless of whether it’s actually what you want to. Some might call it ‘tit for tat’. You could also look at it another way. Technically you’re their ‘first’ second choice. Some might call that the silver lining. Maybe we should make the most of it.

If I’m being brutally honest, I would probably shove them away because I am bitter and stubborn, though I’m sure I would regret it. I like to think I’d eventually make amends though.

The question is…could you settle with being the person that someone settled for? 

3. Facebook Passwords

Why do people share Facebook passwords. This has bothered me for a while. In my experience, nothing good has ever come out of it. Ever. 

Why do people do it? People seem to think that sharing FB passwords is some sacred act of trust. I prefer to call it a voluntary invasion of privacy. Just because I don’t want you going through my messages or newsfeed doesn’t mean I have anything to hide. I just don’t want people knowing about every miniscule part of my life.

How do people even ask for it? Personally I’d find asking for someone’s password completely inappropriate. However let’s say somebody does ask. They’re looking at you with their puppy dog eyes, they’re reminding you that they’re your bestest friend ever/ boyfriend/ girlfriend and honestly they probably won’t ever look at it. SURE! If you’re not going to look, why are you guilt tripping me?

It gets worse though when they give you their password. I don’t want that knowledge. I fully acknowledge that I’m too curious for my own good and you’re just handing me ammunition. Several people have given me their passwords. Every time I make sure that they change it. I’m touched that they trust me. Unfortunately I don’t trust myself.
And then there’s that expectation…I’ve given you my password… You should really give me yours. NO.

So what goes wrong? How about everything. For a site that is supposed to ‘bring people together’, it sure breaks a lot of people apart.

  1. Eurgh, why are you talking to her/ him?! I hate them and you’re my friend so you can’t talk to them either.
  2. Oh my god, you’ve said such bad things about me to so and so after we had that fight.
  3. Why are you flirting with them? Your MY boyfriend/girlfriend. I no longer trust you. I will censor all your messages from now on. You cannot go anywhere without me by your side. I will be jealous and mistrusting of your companions of the opposite sex.
  4. Why were you on my account pretending to be me? I don’t remember having all these conversations.
  5. Oh my god, you changed my privacy settings. Now my family will see what I’m really like and judge me.And my personal favourite…
  6. WHY WERE YOU ON MY ACCOUNT?

People use the finding of ‘evidence’ as justification of FB password sharing. All I will say is, if someone wants to say bad things about you, they will find a way to do it. FB is not the only medium for chatting. People can verbally say things, instant message, whatsapp or go old school and sent horrible notes. Now unless you want to go all Big Brother on everyone, you cannot control this. Take comfort in the fact that if someone is a bitch, then so is karma.

Over and Out.