GUYS Guys guys! I got a FIRST! I GOT A FRIGGIN’ FIRST!
During these holidays I employed an avoidance tactic when it came to results. Of course that didn’t stop it popping into my head and making my stomach drop, but each time it did I made a quiet a prayer and pushed it out my mind. I refused to be that person sitting by their computer hitting refresh a hundred times.
So where was I when I got my results? Tesco. My phone started blowing up. People were posting their results on Facebook and I was just standing in the vegetables aisle gripped by anxiety. I was with my parents at the time but I made a decision not to tell them in case they crashed the car on the way home in their haste. So I played it cool and wandered around the store for the next twenty minutes looking at toothpaste and pasta sauce.
When I eventually made it home, I trudged up the stairs, turned on my computer and found my hands shaking. Why was I so nervous? Well last year, I was kinda disappointed by my results. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to so I worked my butt off this year to compensate for it. I just wasn’t sure whether I’d done enough.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT when I saw that it said ‘First Class Honours’ next to the degree classification. I think I blinked several times just to check I wasn’t imagining it. I even asked Shakira if that meant a First because I seemed to have lost my handle on the English language.
Even better I saw that I got a First in every module except one which was off by two marks. On top of that I got a First in my project/ dissertation which blew my mind. Hands down the best set of marks I have ever obtained at university.
So basically I was standing in my room kinda overwhelmed and on the verge of tears (but I managed to hold it it together). The fun part was telling my parents. I crept downstairs and calmly announced my results. The next thing I know I’m being squished to a within an inch of my life by my mum and we were jumping up and down like crazy people. My dad was much more subdued though I’d say equally pleased.
So yeh I am pretty darn happy right now and this grin I’m wearing ain’t going nowhere for a while.
Over and Out!
After the insane weekend I had in Paris, returning back to London felt surreal. I had been awake for 26 hours straight, my feet were aching from wearing heels for two days and I was exhausted right down to my bones. As soon as I got home, I ate some Coco Pops and promptly fell asleep for 9 hours straight. When I woke up I was so disorientated; I had no idea where I was or what time it was because my body clock was so messed. The first thing I did was check out what I had missed while I was gone and it was then that I found out that third year results were released.
To be honest I didn’t want to open them but I had to assess the damage. I knew beforehand that it wouldn’t be as good as last year and the ‘I don’t give a shit’ feeling that I had after the exams had faded by now so I was anxious.
I was… disappointed.
Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t do badly but I was so far off what I aspired. My New Year’s resolution was to try and get a First in every non-maths module (there are 7) and I got 3 (though one was only off by 1) and they weren’t good Firsts either. They were scrapes to the extreme but I’ll take what I can get.
My lowest mark was in Managerial Economics which is supposed to be an ‘easy’ option and to be fair my friends did really well in it but I thoroughly lack economic sense and I have a long standing history of hating multiple choice exams. I should have known better than to listen to other people. No more non-maths modules for me.
There was one module that I was particularly disappointed with; Games, Risks and Decisions. I really enjoyed the module and I felt like I had a good grasp on the content but I got a very average mark. It’s not unfair because I know I didn’t perform well in the exam but it’s definitely not representative of my understanding. Oh well…I guess it evens out. Last year I got higher marks in modules that I knew very little about.
I don’t want to be completely negative so I’ll share a positive too. I got a First in M3T: Communicating Mathematics which is the project I wrote after my exams. It’s one of those modules where it’s usual to get a 2:1, rare to get a 2:2 but difficult to get a First so I guess I should be pleased.
I might sound obnoxious complaining about a high 2:1 but I wanted to do better and I’m pretty bummed. I’ve never not got the highest grades and I really don’t want my university degree to be where I mess up. I don’t give a shit about how it’s good to fail sometimes and how it’s a learning curve. It’s going to be challenging to get a First overall but it’s still within my grasp (just about). I just need to pull out something special next year but it’s going to be seriously tight. I don’t think I can outrightly get a First but I can get in the grey area between a 2:1 and First forcing them to discuss my case and I’ll have to pray it goes in my favour. But that’s the thing, I’m now reliant on other people rather than my own merit.
I’m such a mix of emotions right now. I’m ecstatic for my friends who are graduating with amazing marks and I’m still on a high from my action packed weekend (which I will share more about with lots of pics later) but I’m kicking myself about my results. I haven’t told my parents yet because they’re still asleep. In a way I’m glad because I’m scared I’ve disappointed them but at the same time I really need some comforting words from my mum because I can’t ‘forgive’ myself until she does… though I’m not sure that’s the right word to use here.
But there you go. I was in Paris living the good life where my biggest worry was what necklace I should wear for the wedding and now I’m back in London smacked back to reality and I need to focus on my internship and university. Don’t things change quickly!
Over and Out!