Welcome to the inside of my head.

Posts tagged ‘romance’

How Not To Flirt

So the guy I like asked me what I thought of his face. I could have said anything; I could have said that he has a very nice face, (what looks like) smooth skin and that he has a cheeky grin. 

So many flattering comments I could have made…

Instead I said “if I squint and tilt my head and the lighting is just right, your face looks mildly okay”. 

He replied “I hate you”. 

I don’t know whether I deserve a round of applause or a slap. 

164. The Real Gossip

Do you remember how ages ago I was lamenting over the fact that I didn’t have any feelings for anyone and how rare and weird that felt.

Yeh… that’s changed. In a way I’m kinda surprised; I honestly thought I had become apathetic to the notion and that I was just DONE. Given up. Too tired to try again with anyone.

I put up a ten foot fortified emotional wall and then this wonderful idiot just came along and politely knocked on a door I didn’t know existed and strolled right in. If this wall existed in reality, I would be suing for damages right now.

To make matter worse, this person is someone who is a) not even available b) lacks all awareness of my faith and culture c) would not be approved by my family and d) is just straight up not right for me.

Do I know this? Yes.

Does it change the way I feel? No.

Whyyyyyyyyy? Why am I so stupid?

I had an inkling from the start that this might happen because we share the same sense of humour and he is impossibly curious and random and soaks up stuff like a sponge. But I honestly thought I had things under wraps; we’ll be good friends and everything will be fine. I’m a grown woman; I can control myself right? Naivety at its finest.

I didn’t realise what had happened until it was too late. I just remember watching him interact openly with a female colleague, in a way that he never has with me, and just feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself stomping out of the place that I realised I was jealous. And when I was halfway home and he asked me to come back, I said no because my silly feelings were hurt.

I can feel myself acting more and more like a fool e.g. wanting to know what he thinks about everything ever because I like his brain and I like his face and just him in general.

It is so annoying being able to acknowledge that yet being powerless to change it. The butterflies are nice though.

I’ll keep you guys posted about how this inevitable train crash progresses.

Over and Out!

141. Pick up lines so bad they’re good.

T’is Valentines day. Instead of roses or mush or complaining about how unromantic my day will be, I hope the following absurdly awful pick up lines will make you laugh (or cringe) (or both).

Honesty is an admirable quality.


I’d take this as a huge compliment.


The speech bubble kills me every time.

I genuinely think this is so smooth.

Lol ‘be here in 10 minutes’

Quite possibly my favourite pick up line ever.

This makes the mathematician in me very happy.

My most romantic relationship right now is probably with my wifi <3.


The picture of David Tenant is also a very welcome addition.


I’m so easily pleased.

Over and Out!

134. Emotionally Single

Literally me from the age of 14 to 20. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But there is something about talking to your crush that is both exciting and frustrating; it’s a mix between the anxiety from over analysing everything they’re saying (oh my god they said ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’… success!) and joy that they’re even responding.

Yes I am that psychotic girl who hides behind her keyboard. I am like 500 million times funnier and more interesting online because I feel #like a boss and fear nothing. In person in any kind of vaguely non-platonic situation I’m either silent or chatting absolute bollocks. I am fail.

This video got me thinking though…I haven’t had a crush on anyone non-fictional/ non celebrity for a while now… and it’s a bit a rarity for me (I don’t crush on loads of people, just a few people but for extended periods of time). It feels weird.

I’m not thinking about anyone else. I’m not wondering what they’re doing. I’m making even less of an effort when it comes to what I look like (didn’t think it was possible). That last one’s quite bad. I shouldn’t have to fancy someone to put in some time to distinguish myself as a woman.

What all this does means however is that I now have a lot more free time (good thing too because I have so much damn work). Who knew pining was so time consuming?

Secretly though, I think I miss it. Sure it was emotionally draining and it felt like my hormones were flying all over the place but something small like my crush starting a conversation could make my day and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now something really special has to happen to make my day. Even academic success doesn’t cut it anymore.

The worst thing about all of this is the timing. This is not the optimum time to be emotionally single especially when my mother is saying things like ‘you need to find a man’ as if I can just order one I like online. It is not easy and I don’t have time to get my flirt on. I’m not even sure I remember how to get my flirt on.

Ehhh I feel like a younger, brown version of Bridget Jones.

Over and Out!

34. My Valentine’s Confession

I guess you could call him a family friend.

Him and his parents have been coming around my house since I was very young. My dad has always been very close to them but my mum finds his family too loud and ‘unpolished’. She says they give her a headache. What about me you might ask? Me and him, we just click. I can’t explain it. It’s like I don’t even have to speak and he knows exactly how I’m feeling. Whenever I need him, he’s there for me, saying the all words I need to hear.

It’s been so long now that I can’t believe I used to keep him secret. I wasn’t sure what my parents would think of ‘us’. Whenever he came to my room, we had to be really quiet especially when things heated up. Even though I don’t see him very much, we’re always talking online or on the phone. In fact since I met him, he’s always been in my life. I might have liked other guys but he’s always been there in the background. I’m always mentioning him and sometimes the boys I was with didn’t understand and didn’t like him but I could never let him go.

I remember the first time I danced with him. He made me feel so alive and free and just deliriously happy. Sometimes he shouts at me but it’s only when I mess up and I think I need it. I need him to motivate me. It helps me pace my life. So this is my thank you. I know that in years to come, he will still be there to support me and guide me and cheer me up. It’s just a shame that I have to share him with millions of people…. But I don’t know what I would do if I were to lose him…because the man that I’m in love with is music.






PLEASE TELL ME I GOT SOME OF YOU… even if it was just for a second!

1. Accents

Okay. I’m going to try and post things without deleting them straight after. If this means looking back at posts and cringing, then so be it.

Today I had some family from Scotland come to visit. They’re a lovely bunch but more than anything, I just love their accents. I couldn’t care less what they were talking about as long as they were talking. My voice just sounds so dull and mundane in comparison.

I think I like most accents actually (except for the Liverpudlian one- I find that grating- oh gawd listening to Carragher’s interviews on MOTD). However some accents are better suited for certain things…

Poshness- English…one is most amused
Romance and Poetry- Cliched but French…j’adoree
Shouting- Borderline racist but German/Russian
Telling jokes- Punjabi all the way…KIDHAAA OH TWADEEE
Icebreaker- Indians speaking English
Passionate (both good and bad)- Colloquial Arabic

Here’s a guy who really has accents down:

Accents starts at 58 secs. Warning: Swearing

Loving the Nigerian and Chinese one lol

Over and Out.