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Posts tagged ‘sex’

154. Mr Grey Will See You Now.

I’m sorry I’ve got to talk about it. Today the full trailer for the 50 Shades of Grey movie was released and well… there’s a lot to say. Viewer discretion advised. Blah blah. 

First of all. Release date. Valentine’s Day. Who decided that would be appropriate? The first book in the series is not exactly romantic. And I can’t imagine going to see it as a couple. Both parties would come out feeling hot and bothered, the lady probably fan-girling and the man feeling inadequate. 

The trailer revolves around the first meeting between shy student Anastasia Steele and CEO/ kinky sex god/ gazillionaire Christian Grey. We see his office, the infamous elevator kiss (what is about elevators?!), Charlie Tango the helicopter, brooding Christian playing the piano and Christian the Dom in those jeans. Meanwhile Ana spends most of the trailer breathing heavily, staring at Christian and asking him to ‘enlighten her’. Pretty faithful to the books.

As for the actors. There was so much fuss around who should play Christian Grey. Fan favourites were Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder but in the end they went with Calvin Klein model Jamie Dornan. Everyone envisions Christian Grey to their own tastes but personally I have no qualms about Dornan in the looks department. The man is hella distracting in a very very good way. I wish they kept his beard in the film.

Dat hair. Dat beard. Dat face. Dat jawline.

However Christian’s appeal is in his domineering attitude and the fact that he knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.  I wasn’t seeing this quality in the trailer but who knows? I also felt like the sound of his voice wasn’t ‘hot’ enough. 

Prior to the trailer I wasn’t convinced that Dakota Johnson was right as Ana mainly because I’d envisioned Alexis Bledel. However I think her portrayal of a quiet, innocent girl who was overwhelmed by Christian and afraid of how he made her feel hit the mark.

The secondary characters basically got zero screen time though we do catch a glimpse of Taylor and the Grey family. However Ana’s best friend Kate and the infamous Mrs Robinson are notably absent.

Overall I’d say I was mildly impressed but mainly because I had such low expectations. I’m not sure how the more graphic scenes are going to play out or if it’s even possible to do them tastefully. How far are they going to go? I hope they leave a little to the imagination because I really don’t want to see everythang.

Except in my mind’s eye. That’s okay.

Over and Out! Laters baby!

66. I think my discomfort-meter just peaked.

lucaspeytontruelovealways

Good God, seeing something steamy on TV when my parents are around is one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever.

Picture the scene: Two characters will be talking and to my horror I’ll realise they’re flirting and the sexual tension is building. Two seconds later they leap on other, snogging the living daylights out of one other and ripping off each other clothes.

Here’s what usually happens when I’m stuck in this situation:

Avoid all eye contact
Look anywhere…anywhere at all, besides the tv screen. This is the perfect time to start counting how many flowers are on my wallpaper (126).

Fidget 
Do something, anything, so that it looks like I’m distracted from the shenanigans on tv. I usually feign getting more ‘comfortable’, patting the cushions or twiddling my thumbs.

Check my phone
Lifesaver! Remember that text I got yesterday that I couldn’t be bothered to reply to- well now’s the perfect time to reply with an essay. Check Facebook. Scroll through my photos. Change my ringtone settings- it doesn’t matter that my phone is always on silent. Just look busy.

Take a loo break
If I’ve seen the movie before and anticipate a steamy scene, I will just dash upstairs and have a pee. If my bladder’s empty, I’ll simply wash my hands and contemplate life or something.
I did this one time and I went downstairs feeling smug that I’d just escaped an awkward situation only to realise that my dad had pressed pause so I didn’t miss anything. Epic fail.

Head for the fridge
Fill the awkwardness with food. One time I searched the fridge but there was nothing decent to snack on. I didn’t want to come back empty handed so I took a tomato.

Awkward fast forwarding
If the show’s recorded, the natural thing to do is to fast forward. This is an awful time to lose the remote (I’m still scarred from that incident). The bad thing about fast forwarding is that you still ‘see’ everything…just very quickly.

Change the channel
If it’s not recorded, someone will usually change the channel and I’ll pretend to be really engrossed about some documentary about.. something. There have been a few times when my dad’s changed the channel and then changed back (often more than once) but they’re still ‘at it’. Cringe.
The worst time was when my dad changed channels to a programme that was also in the middle of a steamy moment. I could have cried.

Over and Out!