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Posts tagged ‘swearing’

124. 5 reasons why swearing is good for you

Hear me out on this- I’m not saying we should go around offending one another but I do think that swearing in moderation when the occasion calls might actually have advantages.

1. It alleviates pain.

Seriously. I’m sure some study somewhere showed that swearing after you stub your toe releases endorphins which are happy hormones that make you feel better. A good old yelp of ‘shit, damn door!’ might just be what you need. Doctor’s recommendation.

2. It helps you exaggerate things.

A little bit of swearing interwoven into everyday language can have a wonderful effect for storytelling. I mean would you rather hear that something was ‘really weird’ or ‘batshit insane’? ‘Really bad’ or ‘piss poor’? There is a huge difference in descriptive power. Swearing makes things so much funnier too- I can’t explain why.

3. It can help win any argument (with people you don’t like)

A well placed STFU can end any argument instantly and have you crowned champion. I had to add the bit in brackets because if you use this against your partner say, you’re gonna be in deep shit. Use it carefully!

4. It enables you to enjoy some of your favourite songs

Listening to censored rap music is just unsatisfying. Swearing is a language all rap artists appear to be fluent in, maybe because it’s so effective at conveying anger and strength of feeling. And even if rap music isn’t to your taste, don’t act like you don’t enjoy screaming along to Cee-Lo Green’s ‘FUCK YOU’.

5. It’ll help you man up

I can’t stress enough that I don’t condone insulting people but should you ever receive any verbal abuse, I think it’s useful to have a colourful vocabulary so that you can deliver them a verbal punch back. It makes you less of a target.


On an aside, my favourite swear word  is ‘shit’ closely followed by ‘bastard’. I dunno they just roll of the tongue. What are yours? 

Over and Out!


42. More moaning

Last Friday I was so happy and relaxed because I had the day off and didn’t have to go to a secondary school and teach. Well I had to go this week and it was like the world was taking its vengeance for me having last week off. Genuinely had the one of the worst lessons of my life.

The day didn’t start wonderfully. The bus I take to get to the station was just epicly late and it was so packed, I physically couldn’t get tissue out of my pocket to blow my nose. Hence my nose was drooling the entire time so everyone was throwing me dirty glances for sniffing. Sorry.  After that the district line kept bloody stopping. It is extremely frustrating sitting in an immobile train when you know you’re late.

As for the lesson… the teacher refused to start until everybody was quiet. That would be the ideal situation but realistically, there will always be one person talking or shuffling or fidgeting or dropping something that makes noise. And there’s always one silly kid in the class that has to say something at the last second and cause even more delays. It genuinely took 25 minutes to begin, in which time me and Shakira were standing at the back twiddling our thumbs and feeling bloody awkward.

There are a few kids in that class that are really volatile. They can flip in an instant. You have to constantly be on your guard because if they’re unhappy, they lash out by picking up the nearest thing and throwing it or kicking it. This might be their maths book or a chair for example. They have no regard for who or what is around. I mean that’s the behaviour of a toddler… just being a pain in the arse to get attention.

Bad attitudes are abundant. I don’t know who these kids think they are. I genuinely fear what will happen to them when they get older. They can’t even speak coherently (‘Did I arsk for your opinion?’). Who the hell is going to hire them? There was one girl who particularly ticked me off. There’s one thing being cheeky but she was downright rude and ignorant.  I asked her a basic question and she said ‘I can’t be bovvered’. I shouldn’t have let it get to me but it did and I blurted ‘then I can’t be bothered to help you’. I know it’s bad. Blah blah I shouldn’t have said it. But why do children seem to have more rights than the teacher? She gets to say whatever the hell she likes but oh noo you can’t retaliate. Bullshit.

Another thing. The language is appalling. They’re only 11/12 years old and some of the stuff coming out of their mouths is vile. I’m not a saint. I swear and use bad language too but never in school and certainly not to the teachers. Seriously-the teacher said something to a boy and he said deadpan ‘suck my balls‘. He got sent out.

Most of the class was held behind for 25 minutes at lunch and the teacher left us unsupervised with for a bit. She’s not supposed to do that -_- As soon as she left, they started packing their bags and putting their coats on as if to leave. By this point I was freaking out. How am I meant to singlehandedly stop 15 kids from stomping out. What am I supposed to do… barricade the door?! Thankfully none of them made any serious attempt to leave (thank you God).

Last but not least, Shakira and me were supposed to be taking this lesson but it got cancelled at the last minute because the teacher was supposed to be inspected. Guess what? No inspector. We slaved away for a week making their resources and getting everything ready and it got delayed for no reason.  Not impressed.

As you can probably tell, I’m in a fantastic mood right now. I’m supposed to be going my friend’s party. She said she would call when enough people had turned up and it was okay to come. I’ve been ready since half 6 and it’s now half 8 and still no call. I am borderline in tears of frustration. She hasn’t texted me back and won’t return my calls. Sitting at my computer blogging in my party gear… I look pretty pathetic.