My two favourite art forms are music and literature. Both have the liberating ability of evoking emotion and transporting you to somewhere new. What’s even better I find, is combining the two.
I’m not sure how many people do this but I really enjoy having a song on repeat whilst reading. Obviously the choice of song here is important. ‘Barbie Girl’ would not be the right accompaniment to Harry Potter, say. But every so often you find a song just … clicks.
Recently I finished reading the whole Divergent series. 3 books, 3 days, standard. All the while I had this gem of a song playing in the background. It’s a cover of the 80s classic ‘Everybody wants to rule the world’ and I think it’s perfect and heartbreaking. I also think it’s appropriate for lots of stories. The Hunger Games and Monsters of Men certainly springs to mind.
Anyway hearing this song now is like a portal. It takes me straight back to the world of Divergent. I find it fascinating how our brains can associate something so strongly with music.
P.S It shocks me how many people don’t know how to play a YouTube video on repeat so I’ll share it here.
Say you have a YouTube video with URL:
All you need to do is replace the youtube bit with ‘listenonrepeat’ as follows:
Over and Out!
*sweeps away books*
*rips up notes*
*runs out into the sun arms outstretched*
Literally me from the age of 14 to 20. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But there is something about talking to your crush that is both exciting and frustrating; it’s a mix between the anxiety from over analysing everything they’re saying (oh my god they said ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’… success!) and joy that they’re even responding.
Yes I am that psychotic girl who hides behind her keyboard. I am like 500 million times funnier and more interesting online because I feel #like a boss and fear nothing. In person in any kind of vaguely non-platonic situation I’m either silent or chatting absolute bollocks. I am fail.
This video got me thinking though…I haven’t had a crush on anyone non-fictional/ non celebrity for a while now… and it’s a bit a rarity for me (I don’t crush on loads of people, just a few people but for extended periods of time). It feels weird.
I’m not thinking about anyone else. I’m not wondering what they’re doing. I’m making even less of an effort when it comes to what I look like (didn’t think it was possible). That last one’s quite bad. I shouldn’t have to fancy someone to put in some time to distinguish myself as a woman.
What all this does means however is that I now have a lot more free time (good thing too because I have so much damn work). Who knew pining was so time consuming?
Secretly though, I think I miss it. Sure it was emotionally draining and it felt like my hormones were flying all over the place but something small like my crush starting a conversation could make my day and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now something really special has to happen to make my day. Even academic success doesn’t cut it anymore.
The worst thing about all of this is the timing. This is not the optimum time to be emotionally single especially when my mother is saying things like ‘you need to find a man’ as if I can just order one I like online. It is not easy and I don’t have time to get my flirt on. I’m not even sure I remember how to get my flirt on.
Ehhh I feel like a younger, brown version of Bridget Jones.
Over and Out!
It is that horrible time of year again… exam revision. This has got to be the most depressing, frustrating and lonely part of my degree.
Revision means the end of my social life (which I was trying to fit in as much as possible beforehand). I have this bad habit of really letting myself go when I don’t have to go out. It’s only been a few days and my hair is already greasy, I smell like curry, my face is pasty and I’m sitting here at my desk in my onesie. Please no-one ring the doorbell.
This is also the time I will do ANYTHING to avoid revision such as:
- cleaning… everything
- ironing things I never wear
- organising my computer files
- reading old emails because I don’t even know why
- playing Neopets
- watching re-runs of House
- helping OTHER people with their revision
- and my personal favourite…complaining about revision…which is what I’m doing now.
Every year I tell myself, I will makes good revision notes while I’m studying the module and every year I end up making them in April. Such a horrible horrible cycle of not learning from my mistakes. *shakes fist*
To makes things worse, I feel hungry pretty much all the time (I think this some psychological ploy made by my scumbag brain to further avoid revision) so I eat up eating everything so now not only am I not working, I’m also getting fat. Dammit.
It sucks having to sit in my room trying to convince myself to get work done. It’s not like I don’t have any motivation. I desperately want to get a First in every module this year (with the exception of Managerial Economics) but clearly I want to watch cat videos on Youtube more. I am convinced that it doesn’t matter where you start from on Youtube, you WILL eventually end up on baby or cat videos.
Revision is lonely. It’s something you have to do by yourself. To do this, you have to commit to being holed up in your room with only your fan heater and your music for company which is pretty darn sad. The shitty weather here in the UK does nothing to lighten the mood either. My parents, bless them, do so much to make sure I have what I need. They pop in and say hello and bring me tea but they can’t exactly help me when I’m stuck on a proof or if I’ve forgotten how to integrate. Le sigh.
With all this said, so far today I’ve been quite good. I’m on Chapter 5 (of 19) of Credit Scoring and I aim to finish up to Chapter 7. I will let you know how I far I get next time.
Good luck to anyone else who is also revising!
Over and Out!